Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Your annual alternately biting/effusing Golden Globes wrap-up
We've all been here before. I hate January. I love the Golden Globes. Some people don't know how to dress themselves. So let's get on with it, shall we?
-What was with Sarah Jessica Parker's boring black strapless gown? What happened to the fashion risk-taker we all know and love (to hate)? Perhaps she got tired of me accusing her of regurgitating Ryan Seacrest.
-Oh my God! Charlize Theron has been attacked by a piece of renegade tulle!
-Apparently Nancy O'Dell picked up her gown from a rerun of Dynasty.
-How did Sandra Oh get so drunk so fast? She must've been knocking a few back in the limo.
-Just remember, girls--I asked George Clooney to marry me first.
-How did no one know that Gwyneth Paltrow was pregnant until, like, last week? I guess everyone was too busy watching Angelina's belly to notice Gwyneth's rapidly expanding one.
-Speaking of Angelina: Listen up, Evangeline Lily. I know Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie is a friend of mine. And you, my dear, despite how bad-assed you may be on Lost, are no Angelina Jolie. So if that flowing, empire-waist, Gwyneth-esque gown was an attempt to get some pregnancy rumors swirling about you--I don't think it's going to work. (Nor do I think I have to tell you that Dominic Monaghan? Ain't exactly Brad Pitt.)
-Ellen Pompeo: No. Just no. Someone should have told you this before you left the house.
-Geena Davis, on the other hand? Is awesome.
-I still think it's quite unfair that Zach Braff is dating Mandy Moore and not me, but I think I can learn to accept it. As long as George Clooney accepts my marriage proposal, that is.
We've all been here before. I hate January. I love the Golden Globes. Some people don't know how to dress themselves. So let's get on with it, shall we?
-What was with Sarah Jessica Parker's boring black strapless gown? What happened to the fashion risk-taker we all know and love (to hate)? Perhaps she got tired of me accusing her of regurgitating Ryan Seacrest.
-Oh my God! Charlize Theron has been attacked by a piece of renegade tulle!
-Apparently Nancy O'Dell picked up her gown from a rerun of Dynasty.
-How did Sandra Oh get so drunk so fast? She must've been knocking a few back in the limo.
-Just remember, girls--I asked George Clooney to marry me first.
-How did no one know that Gwyneth Paltrow was pregnant until, like, last week? I guess everyone was too busy watching Angelina's belly to notice Gwyneth's rapidly expanding one.
-Speaking of Angelina: Listen up, Evangeline Lily. I know Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie is a friend of mine. And you, my dear, despite how bad-assed you may be on Lost, are no Angelina Jolie. So if that flowing, empire-waist, Gwyneth-esque gown was an attempt to get some pregnancy rumors swirling about you--I don't think it's going to work. (Nor do I think I have to tell you that Dominic Monaghan? Ain't exactly Brad Pitt.)
-Ellen Pompeo: No. Just no. Someone should have told you this before you left the house.
-Geena Davis, on the other hand? Is awesome.
-I still think it's quite unfair that Zach Braff is dating Mandy Moore and not me, but I think I can learn to accept it. As long as George Clooney accepts my marriage proposal, that is.
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