Sunday, July 30, 2006
It's getting hot in here
And, following the sage advice of Nelly (although I refuse to spell "here" with more than one "r," no matter how helpful I find his suggestions), I've already removed most of my clothing, not that it seems to be helping. Also not helping is the strata I decided to make for dinner, which, according to the recipe, was only supposed to need 40 to 50 minutes in the oven. After two hours, I still wasn't sure it was completely cooked, but the last thing my unair-conditioned apartment needs is 350 more degrees, so I finally turned the oven off. (After which I promptly stuck my head in the freezer, ultimately deciding that no, it is not possible for me to sleep in there.)
If you don't hear from me in the next few days, it's probably safe to assume that I've:
a) pulled a Lindsay Lohan and succumbed to heat exhaustion (although in my case, "heat exhaustion" won't actually be code for "massive hangover")
b) tried again to fit myself into the freezer...and failed
c) drowned while attempting to sleep in a cold bath
d) contracted a violent case of food poisoning from undercooked strata, or
e) all or some combination of the above.
And, following the sage advice of Nelly (although I refuse to spell "here" with more than one "r," no matter how helpful I find his suggestions), I've already removed most of my clothing, not that it seems to be helping. Also not helping is the strata I decided to make for dinner, which, according to the recipe, was only supposed to need 40 to 50 minutes in the oven. After two hours, I still wasn't sure it was completely cooked, but the last thing my unair-conditioned apartment needs is 350 more degrees, so I finally turned the oven off. (After which I promptly stuck my head in the freezer, ultimately deciding that no, it is not possible for me to sleep in there.)
If you don't hear from me in the next few days, it's probably safe to assume that I've:
a) pulled a Lindsay Lohan and succumbed to heat exhaustion (although in my case, "heat exhaustion" won't actually be code for "massive hangover")
b) tried again to fit myself into the freezer...and failed
c) drowned while attempting to sleep in a cold bath
d) contracted a violent case of food poisoning from undercooked strata, or
e) all or some combination of the above.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
From the hometown paper...
One guy that I graduated from high school with just had a baby with his wife, and another one was convicted of murder and sentenced to 20 years in prison. I'm not sure which bit of news I find more shocking.
OK, fine. It's the latter. But the idea of people my age (especially people I knew when they were 10) being actual responsible adults who have things like spouses and babies still weirds me out a little.
One guy that I graduated from high school with just had a baby with his wife, and another one was convicted of murder and sentenced to 20 years in prison. I'm not sure which bit of news I find more shocking.
OK, fine. It's the latter. But the idea of people my age (especially people I knew when they were 10) being actual responsible adults who have things like spouses and babies still weirds me out a little.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
And the winner is...
All right, I think I've dragged this thing out long enough. So without further ado, I proudly present the winner of the first (and hopefully only) season of American Cereal!: Heartland Original Granola!
It's true that this was the cereal with the highest score, so the result seems pretty cut and dry, but to be honest, I didn't really even consider score when deciding. The fact is, this was the only cereal in the competition that had me both pining for it before bed and springing up in the morning in anticipation of having a bowl. Yes, I'm a little worried about the astronomical fat content, but I've decided to intersperse it with the runners up (Kashi Crunch! and Peanut Butter Puffins) if I suddenly find it difficult to button my jeans.
It's still a little too early, and so I don't want to jinx it, but I think I could be falling in love again. If nothing else, this new cereal has made me forget my old one. And what's a good rebound relationship for, if not that?
All right, I think I've dragged this thing out long enough. So without further ado, I proudly present the winner of the first (and hopefully only) season of American Cereal!: Heartland Original Granola!
It's true that this was the cereal with the highest score, so the result seems pretty cut and dry, but to be honest, I didn't really even consider score when deciding. The fact is, this was the only cereal in the competition that had me both pining for it before bed and springing up in the morning in anticipation of having a bowl. Yes, I'm a little worried about the astronomical fat content, but I've decided to intersperse it with the runners up (Kashi Crunch! and Peanut Butter Puffins) if I suddenly find it difficult to button my jeans.
It's still a little too early, and so I don't want to jinx it, but I think I could be falling in love again. If nothing else, this new cereal has made me forget my old one. And what's a good rebound relationship for, if not that?
Monday, July 24, 2006
American Cereal!: The (Almost) Final Installment
Um, so you may have been wondering what happened to my little quest for a new breakfast cereal. Did I suddenly divert to danishes? Decide to take up toast? Or just give up on the idea of breakfast altogether, in an attempt to capture a few more precious minutes of sleep each morning?
The answers are no, no and no, respectively. Rather, I just got bored with writing cereal reviews and, while the competition carried on privately, I neglected to provide public updates. In fact, I even declared a winner, not that anyone except me (and the lucky cereal, of course) heard about it.
Although the competition has technically ended, I still feel the need to provide some closure, in case some of you out there are on the edge of your seats, breathlessly waiting for the outcome. (To be honest, though, if the previous sentence applies to you, you might want to consider getting a hobby.) And so, in the manner of Fox trying desperately to dump a cut-rate reality show that it should've realized from the start was a bad idea (uh, The Littlest Groom, anyone?), I'll now breeze through the rest of the competitors so we can get to the important stuff: the winner.
Competitor #5: Back to Nature Apple & Strawberry Granola
After I bought it, I realized that his was the cereal I had cherished back in my previous granola phase, but it just didn't stand the test of time. By which I mean it was far inferior to this competition's other entrant in the granola category. Sure, the dried fruit was nice, but it's cut into such tiny pieces that it doesn't have much overall impact. The verdict? Surprisingly blah.
Competitor #6: Barbara's Puffins, Peanut Butter Flavor
The peanut butter Puffins came highly recommended from both Danielle and Chase, so I went in with high expectations. And I wasn't entirely disappointed. In fact, I only found three minor flaws with the Puffins: 1) The price--at almost $5 a box, they're double what I once paid for Crispy Corn & Rice; 2) A mouth-mangling crunch to rival Kashi's (seriously, Chase, do you have jaws of steel or what?); and 3) Well, I just couldn't get past the fact that peanut-butter-flavored cereal? Is kind of weird.
I realize that it’s at this point that I should reveal the winner of American Cereal!, but if I have learned nothing from the countless hours of reality television I’ve watched, it’s that this is actually the opportune time to take a commercial break. So come back tomorrow for your results—live! Here on American Cereal!
Clare, out!
Um, so you may have been wondering what happened to my little quest for a new breakfast cereal. Did I suddenly divert to danishes? Decide to take up toast? Or just give up on the idea of breakfast altogether, in an attempt to capture a few more precious minutes of sleep each morning?
The answers are no, no and no, respectively. Rather, I just got bored with writing cereal reviews and, while the competition carried on privately, I neglected to provide public updates. In fact, I even declared a winner, not that anyone except me (and the lucky cereal, of course) heard about it.
Although the competition has technically ended, I still feel the need to provide some closure, in case some of you out there are on the edge of your seats, breathlessly waiting for the outcome. (To be honest, though, if the previous sentence applies to you, you might want to consider getting a hobby.) And so, in the manner of Fox trying desperately to dump a cut-rate reality show that it should've realized from the start was a bad idea (uh, The Littlest Groom, anyone?), I'll now breeze through the rest of the competitors so we can get to the important stuff: the winner.
Competitor #5: Back to Nature Apple & Strawberry Granola
After I bought it, I realized that his was the cereal I had cherished back in my previous granola phase, but it just didn't stand the test of time. By which I mean it was far inferior to this competition's other entrant in the granola category. Sure, the dried fruit was nice, but it's cut into such tiny pieces that it doesn't have much overall impact. The verdict? Surprisingly blah.
Competitor #6: Barbara's Puffins, Peanut Butter Flavor
The peanut butter Puffins came highly recommended from both Danielle and Chase, so I went in with high expectations. And I wasn't entirely disappointed. In fact, I only found three minor flaws with the Puffins: 1) The price--at almost $5 a box, they're double what I once paid for Crispy Corn & Rice; 2) A mouth-mangling crunch to rival Kashi's (seriously, Chase, do you have jaws of steel or what?); and 3) Well, I just couldn't get past the fact that peanut-butter-flavored cereal? Is kind of weird.
I realize that it’s at this point that I should reveal the winner of American Cereal!, but if I have learned nothing from the countless hours of reality television I’ve watched, it’s that this is actually the opportune time to take a commercial break. So come back tomorrow for your results—live! Here on American Cereal!
Clare, out!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Fine, Anthropologie. FINE.
Some of you may remember a time in the not-so-distant past when I coveted a certain red-and-white striped dress at Anthropologie. Actually, when we last left off, I think I was coveting several dresses, but all you really need to know is that I narrowed it down to one. This one. This was the dress I had to have.
The problem? Well, there were two. One, despite many phone calls from Autumn to report sightings of the dress at the Georgetown store, it was nowhere to be found every time I went there, and so I have yet to see it in person. Not only is this crucial for trying-on purposes, but Autumn and I have agreed that Anthropologie clothes can sometimes look much cuter on the site than in the store. The second dilemma is that, despite the fact that it appeared in early spring and has since actually disappeared from their latest summer catalog, the dress is still full price on the web site. Even with a couple gift cards from some very generous friends (including the ever-awesome Holly, who sent me one for my birthday after reading about my dress envy here), the dress is still out of my price range.
For months, I've refused to even consider another piece of clothing from Anthropologie, in the hopes that the dress may one day be accessible to me. But finally, I've decided to give up the fight. I'm tired, frankly, and I've come to realize that the dress, although very cute, is totally impractical. I've got four weddings still on my social calendar, and not one of them is in a season in which it would be suitable to wear that dress.
And so, logic dictates that I need to focus my Anthropologie efforts instead on something that would be suitable to wear to any and (most likely) all of these events. Which means we're back at square one: I can't make up my mind. This is where you come in, because if I have accomplished nothing this year, I have proved without a doubt that I cannot make simple decisions, such as whether to cut my hair or what cereal to eat for breakfast, without first soliciting the opinions of my blog readers.
With that, I present the options:
Dress #1
Pros: If this is the dress I think it is, I have actually seen it in the store, and it is quite beautiful. Though I didn't try it on then, based on its shape, I think I'd feel comfortable in knowing what size to order without doing so.
Cons: It's got a bubble hem, which unfortunately draws my mind to one of the more hideous Carrie Bradshaw monstrosities. (See photo 11.) I'd clearly need something to wear with it in the fall/winter, and while I think my olive-green vintage cardigan would go, I'm not quite sure. Plus, it's kinda formal--but considering that my date for one wedding is planning to wear a tuxedo, that might actually be a pro.
Skirt
Pros: I love the whole Tippi Hedren/Hitchcock movie vibe of this skirt--in fact, I marked it when I was first perusing the spring catalog longingly. It's not as expensive as the dress, and it'd probably be pretty easy to pair with a brown top and heels. Plus, I could wear it to work.
Cons: I'm not a huge fan of straight skirts, and it's got that weird dip-down waist that I refer to as a pregnancy panel because it looks like the waistband on maternity jeans. Also, in person, the fabric feels less Tippi Hedren and more Maria Von Trapp.
Dress #2
Pros: This dress is so cute in person. And it's got rainbow stripes. I can never resist rainbow stripes. They remind me of childhood.
Cons: It's expensive, too summery for what I need, and the cut probably wouldn't fit me correctly. In short, it's completely impractical. I'm not really sure how it made the list, actually...oh yeah, rainbow stripes.
So what do you think? I mean, other than that it's kind of fun how I've suddenly become a life-size paper doll for all of you to play with.
UPDATE: Well, apparently neither the skirt nor dress 1 are available in a size even close to the one I actually wear. So that narrows it down a bit. Perhaps I should have checked that before I wrote a lengthy discourse on the subject. DAMN YOU, ANTHROPOLOGIE!
Some of you may remember a time in the not-so-distant past when I coveted a certain red-and-white striped dress at Anthropologie. Actually, when we last left off, I think I was coveting several dresses, but all you really need to know is that I narrowed it down to one. This one. This was the dress I had to have.
The problem? Well, there were two. One, despite many phone calls from Autumn to report sightings of the dress at the Georgetown store, it was nowhere to be found every time I went there, and so I have yet to see it in person. Not only is this crucial for trying-on purposes, but Autumn and I have agreed that Anthropologie clothes can sometimes look much cuter on the site than in the store. The second dilemma is that, despite the fact that it appeared in early spring and has since actually disappeared from their latest summer catalog, the dress is still full price on the web site. Even with a couple gift cards from some very generous friends (including the ever-awesome Holly, who sent me one for my birthday after reading about my dress envy here), the dress is still out of my price range.
For months, I've refused to even consider another piece of clothing from Anthropologie, in the hopes that the dress may one day be accessible to me. But finally, I've decided to give up the fight. I'm tired, frankly, and I've come to realize that the dress, although very cute, is totally impractical. I've got four weddings still on my social calendar, and not one of them is in a season in which it would be suitable to wear that dress.
And so, logic dictates that I need to focus my Anthropologie efforts instead on something that would be suitable to wear to any and (most likely) all of these events. Which means we're back at square one: I can't make up my mind. This is where you come in, because if I have accomplished nothing this year, I have proved without a doubt that I cannot make simple decisions, such as whether to cut my hair or what cereal to eat for breakfast, without first soliciting the opinions of my blog readers.
With that, I present the options:
Dress #1
Pros: If this is the dress I think it is, I have actually seen it in the store, and it is quite beautiful. Though I didn't try it on then, based on its shape, I think I'd feel comfortable in knowing what size to order without doing so.
Cons: It's got a bubble hem, which unfortunately draws my mind to one of the more hideous Carrie Bradshaw monstrosities. (See photo 11.) I'd clearly need something to wear with it in the fall/winter, and while I think my olive-green vintage cardigan would go, I'm not quite sure. Plus, it's kinda formal--but considering that my date for one wedding is planning to wear a tuxedo, that might actually be a pro.
Skirt
Pros: I love the whole Tippi Hedren/Hitchcock movie vibe of this skirt--in fact, I marked it when I was first perusing the spring catalog longingly. It's not as expensive as the dress, and it'd probably be pretty easy to pair with a brown top and heels. Plus, I could wear it to work.
Cons: I'm not a huge fan of straight skirts, and it's got that weird dip-down waist that I refer to as a pregnancy panel because it looks like the waistband on maternity jeans. Also, in person, the fabric feels less Tippi Hedren and more Maria Von Trapp.
Dress #2
Pros: This dress is so cute in person. And it's got rainbow stripes. I can never resist rainbow stripes. They remind me of childhood.
Cons: It's expensive, too summery for what I need, and the cut probably wouldn't fit me correctly. In short, it's completely impractical. I'm not really sure how it made the list, actually...oh yeah, rainbow stripes.
So what do you think? I mean, other than that it's kind of fun how I've suddenly become a life-size paper doll for all of you to play with.
UPDATE: Well, apparently neither the skirt nor dress 1 are available in a size even close to the one I actually wear. So that narrows it down a bit. Perhaps I should have checked that before I wrote a lengthy discourse on the subject. DAMN YOU, ANTHROPOLOGIE!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Ruminations on napkins
Yes, that's actually what this post is about--or rather, ruminations on the lack of napkins. The other night when I was having dinner at Rob and Monika's new house, it occurred to me that no one our age uses napkins at home any more--we use paper towels instead. Why this suddenly occurred to me at their house, I have no idea, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true it was. None of my friends in Birmingham keep paper napkins around the house, and the realization that no one I know in D.C. does so either means that it's not just some regional quirk. In fact, the only conclusion I can come to here is that our generation's fervor for multi-tasking has led us to recognize the futility of needing two distinct types of paper products when just one will suffice. I just hope this doesn't mean the next generation will start using paper towels for toilet paper, or vice versa, because I don't think that will work so well. (Actually, I already use toilet paper for kleenex. Does that mean I'm ahead of my time?)
Yes, that's actually what this post is about--or rather, ruminations on the lack of napkins. The other night when I was having dinner at Rob and Monika's new house, it occurred to me that no one our age uses napkins at home any more--we use paper towels instead. Why this suddenly occurred to me at their house, I have no idea, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true it was. None of my friends in Birmingham keep paper napkins around the house, and the realization that no one I know in D.C. does so either means that it's not just some regional quirk. In fact, the only conclusion I can come to here is that our generation's fervor for multi-tasking has led us to recognize the futility of needing two distinct types of paper products when just one will suffice. I just hope this doesn't mean the next generation will start using paper towels for toilet paper, or vice versa, because I don't think that will work so well. (Actually, I already use toilet paper for kleenex. Does that mean I'm ahead of my time?)
Monday, July 17, 2006
The best thing since sliced bread
Where did that expression come from, anyway? Was sliced bread really that awesome when it first came out? If so, I think we definitely take it for granted now.
Anyway, this is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who is vitriolically opposed to ridiculously trendy baby names.
Where did that expression come from, anyway? Was sliced bread really that awesome when it first came out? If so, I think we definitely take it for granted now.
Anyway, this is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who is vitriolically opposed to ridiculously trendy baby names.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Lies! All lies!
Here's another thing that really bugs me: When singers don't know when to use "lie" vs. "lay." Now, this is a problem that afflicts much of the population, I would imagine, but it seems to befall those who write songs in disproportionate numbers. For instance:
Example 1: Troubled Mind by Catie Curtis
Offending lyric: So won't you come and stay/And let me lay down in your arms
I can appreciate the fact that she's going for the rhyme here with "stay" and "lay," but it still gets under my skin.
Example 2: I'll Find a Way by Rachael Yamagata
Offending lyric: Lay with me, lay with me/I'm alive when you're here with me, here with me
Now, you could argue that she's going for contrast between "lay" and "alive," but I think she's just blatantly flouting the rule. "Lie" would've worked just fine, in my opinion.
At this point, I could also drag out Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay," but I'm kind of willing to overlook that one, simply because it inspired one of the most brilliant headlines I've come up with thus far ("Lei Lady Lei," for a story about how to make your own Hawaiian lei). Also, I'm pretty sure that Bob Dylan has earned the right to do whatever the hell he wants.
The point of all this is that I've recently come across the worst misunderstanding of the lie/lay dichotomy that I've ever encountered in song. Yesterday, I downloaded Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars, which has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it on the Grey's Anatomy finale two months ago. I like the song, but wow, the chorus drives me nuts:
Offending lyric: If I just lay here/Would you lie with me and just forget the world
This is so, so much worse than the others, simply because they demonstrate in the second line that they do know how to use the word correctly, yet in the first line, they just don't. Why, Snow Patrol, why? Would it really have been that hard to change a few "lays" to "lies"? Come on!
I'm exhausted. I'm going to stop nitpicking now.
Here's another thing that really bugs me: When singers don't know when to use "lie" vs. "lay." Now, this is a problem that afflicts much of the population, I would imagine, but it seems to befall those who write songs in disproportionate numbers. For instance:
Example 1: Troubled Mind by Catie Curtis
Offending lyric: So won't you come and stay/And let me lay down in your arms
I can appreciate the fact that she's going for the rhyme here with "stay" and "lay," but it still gets under my skin.
Example 2: I'll Find a Way by Rachael Yamagata
Offending lyric: Lay with me, lay with me/I'm alive when you're here with me, here with me
Now, you could argue that she's going for contrast between "lay" and "alive," but I think she's just blatantly flouting the rule. "Lie" would've worked just fine, in my opinion.
At this point, I could also drag out Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay," but I'm kind of willing to overlook that one, simply because it inspired one of the most brilliant headlines I've come up with thus far ("Lei Lady Lei," for a story about how to make your own Hawaiian lei). Also, I'm pretty sure that Bob Dylan has earned the right to do whatever the hell he wants.
The point of all this is that I've recently come across the worst misunderstanding of the lie/lay dichotomy that I've ever encountered in song. Yesterday, I downloaded Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars, which has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it on the Grey's Anatomy finale two months ago. I like the song, but wow, the chorus drives me nuts:
Offending lyric: If I just lay here/Would you lie with me and just forget the world
This is so, so much worse than the others, simply because they demonstrate in the second line that they do know how to use the word correctly, yet in the first line, they just don't. Why, Snow Patrol, why? Would it really have been that hard to change a few "lays" to "lies"? Come on!
I'm exhausted. I'm going to stop nitpicking now.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Minutiae
At some point, I may finally get around to penning the next installment of American Cereal!, but until then, here are a couple of tiny, insignificant things that bug me probably more than they should:
-The way DC's local host of Morning Edition pronounces "Carnegie." I've never heard it pronounced any way other than "CAR-nuh-gie," yet this guy insists on pronouncing it "Car-NAY-gie." It's almost like when people say "Ralph Lau-REN" instead of "Ralph LAU-ren," only in that case they're being snooty, and in this case, he's just flat wrong. I don't think I have to tell you that yelling "CAR-nuh-gie! CAR-nuh-gie!" over and over at the radio is not the best way to start one's day.
-When people abbreviate the term "political science," and they write "poly sci" instead of "poli sci." It's the science of politics, people, not multiple sciences. Get it? Got it? Good.
At some point, I may finally get around to penning the next installment of American Cereal!, but until then, here are a couple of tiny, insignificant things that bug me probably more than they should:
-The way DC's local host of Morning Edition pronounces "Carnegie." I've never heard it pronounced any way other than "CAR-nuh-gie," yet this guy insists on pronouncing it "Car-NAY-gie." It's almost like when people say "Ralph Lau-REN" instead of "Ralph LAU-ren," only in that case they're being snooty, and in this case, he's just flat wrong. I don't think I have to tell you that yelling "CAR-nuh-gie! CAR-nuh-gie!" over and over at the radio is not the best way to start one's day.
-When people abbreviate the term "political science," and they write "poly sci" instead of "poli sci." It's the science of politics, people, not multiple sciences. Get it? Got it? Good.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Party lines
Last night, I went to a party on Capitol Hill at the house of a girl I went to high school with. Shortly after I arrived, the group decided to play a game similar to Taboo, in which you had to make everyone guess a word or phrase without saying any part of that word or phrase. It was a welcome diversion from the pressures of making small talk, so I happily joined in, blissfully unaware of the minefield I was stepping into.
My first warning came when we decided to tackle the politics-heavy "World" category. A girl across the table from me was giving the clue, saying, "This is the political party we all belong to." Immediately, everyone at the table screamed in unison, "Republican!!!" as if we were at some GOP pep rally. I believe I actually flinched, but I think everyone else was too preoccupied with proudly asserting their party affiliation to notice.
You could argue, then, that I should've known better when my turn came, but clearly I wasn't thinking. My word was "documentary," and so I gave the first timely clue that popped into my mind: "An Inconvenient Truth is a..."
"Lie!" "Misinformation!" "Propaganda!" came the barrage of screams. In vain, I tried to steer everyone back on track with a feeble, "No, the kind of movie...", but between the shouts of "Lies! Lies! Lies!", I don't think anyone heard me. Finally, I raised my voice a little louder and said, "Come on, Republicans, work with me here!"
And...silence. All eyes were on me as a single thought crackled in the air: Who invited the Democrat? After a few moments, I tried again: "Um, the kind of movie..." Someone finally said "documentary," and my turn was blessedly over, but the damage was already done. For the rest of the night, I felt as if I might as well have had a scarlet D emblazoned on my chest.
The next time I decide to go to a party on the Hill, I think I'll check the affiliation before I RSVP.
Last night, I went to a party on Capitol Hill at the house of a girl I went to high school with. Shortly after I arrived, the group decided to play a game similar to Taboo, in which you had to make everyone guess a word or phrase without saying any part of that word or phrase. It was a welcome diversion from the pressures of making small talk, so I happily joined in, blissfully unaware of the minefield I was stepping into.
My first warning came when we decided to tackle the politics-heavy "World" category. A girl across the table from me was giving the clue, saying, "This is the political party we all belong to." Immediately, everyone at the table screamed in unison, "Republican!!!" as if we were at some GOP pep rally. I believe I actually flinched, but I think everyone else was too preoccupied with proudly asserting their party affiliation to notice.
You could argue, then, that I should've known better when my turn came, but clearly I wasn't thinking. My word was "documentary," and so I gave the first timely clue that popped into my mind: "An Inconvenient Truth is a..."
"Lie!" "Misinformation!" "Propaganda!" came the barrage of screams. In vain, I tried to steer everyone back on track with a feeble, "No, the kind of movie...", but between the shouts of "Lies! Lies! Lies!", I don't think anyone heard me. Finally, I raised my voice a little louder and said, "Come on, Republicans, work with me here!"
And...silence. All eyes were on me as a single thought crackled in the air: Who invited the Democrat? After a few moments, I tried again: "Um, the kind of movie..." Someone finally said "documentary," and my turn was blessedly over, but the damage was already done. For the rest of the night, I felt as if I might as well have had a scarlet D emblazoned on my chest.
The next time I decide to go to a party on the Hill, I think I'll check the affiliation before I RSVP.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
I was robbed!
Usually, I pay little attention to the headline contest on Overheard in New York, mostly because I think the whole concept is rather annoying, kind of like the way a lot of people on the TWoP forums often seem as if they're auditioning just in case there should be a sudden hole in the recapper lineup that needs to be filled. Don't get me wrong; I understand the urge to want to be involved with something that's so universally beloved, something that could've been your idea if only you'd thought of it first. But desperate piggybacking wears thin with me pretty quickly. Instead of trying to claw your way into someone else's brilliant idea, either stand back and admire their genius or quit whining and come up with your own.
Anyway. The headline contest. Sometimes I'll look at it just out of curiosity, but rarely ever am I willing to expend the energy of trying to come up with a headline. However, last Thursday when I clicked on the link, I was immediately struck with a headline idea so brilliant that I just had to enter it. Best-case scenario, I win a free copy of the Overheard in New York book, or at least drive some new readers to my blog with an honorable mention; worst-case scenario, I can bitch about how much better my headline was than those of all the losers who got published.
As you may be able to tell from the headline of this post, the result fell into the latter category. So here, for a much smaller audience, I present the gem that should've won today's Overheard in New York headline contest:
That's What Divine Brown Said, Too
Middle-aged man: I hope we don't get caught.
Prostitute: Don't worry, I never have.
And here, you can read all the far-inferior headlines that received nods, including one that uses the same pop-culture reference in a far more ham-fisted manner.
Oh, the humanity.
Usually, I pay little attention to the headline contest on Overheard in New York, mostly because I think the whole concept is rather annoying, kind of like the way a lot of people on the TWoP forums often seem as if they're auditioning just in case there should be a sudden hole in the recapper lineup that needs to be filled. Don't get me wrong; I understand the urge to want to be involved with something that's so universally beloved, something that could've been your idea if only you'd thought of it first. But desperate piggybacking wears thin with me pretty quickly. Instead of trying to claw your way into someone else's brilliant idea, either stand back and admire their genius or quit whining and come up with your own.
Anyway. The headline contest. Sometimes I'll look at it just out of curiosity, but rarely ever am I willing to expend the energy of trying to come up with a headline. However, last Thursday when I clicked on the link, I was immediately struck with a headline idea so brilliant that I just had to enter it. Best-case scenario, I win a free copy of the Overheard in New York book, or at least drive some new readers to my blog with an honorable mention; worst-case scenario, I can bitch about how much better my headline was than those of all the losers who got published.
As you may be able to tell from the headline of this post, the result fell into the latter category. So here, for a much smaller audience, I present the gem that should've won today's Overheard in New York headline contest:
That's What Divine Brown Said, Too
Middle-aged man: I hope we don't get caught.
Prostitute: Don't worry, I never have.
And here, you can read all the far-inferior headlines that received nods, including one that uses the same pop-culture reference in a far more ham-fisted manner.
Oh, the humanity.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
There may have been some independence involved, too
I spent my Fourth of July:
a) Nearly getting struck by lightning while walking home from the pool
b) Accepting a ride from a stranger after nearly getting hit by lightning, as I considered that the lesser of two evils
c) Hanging out at a Mexican restaurant with some disgruntled soccer fans, whose viewing of the Italy-Germany match had been interrupted when the cable went out, while I waited for a ride from a person I actually know, and
d) Watching a panoramic display of fireworks from the platform of a Metro station.
To say it was the oddest Fourth of July I've ever had would be an understatement--and not just because my traditional flag cake was nowhere to be found.
I spent my Fourth of July:
a) Nearly getting struck by lightning while walking home from the pool
b) Accepting a ride from a stranger after nearly getting hit by lightning, as I considered that the lesser of two evils
c) Hanging out at a Mexican restaurant with some disgruntled soccer fans, whose viewing of the Italy-Germany match had been interrupted when the cable went out, while I waited for a ride from a person I actually know, and
d) Watching a panoramic display of fireworks from the platform of a Metro station.
To say it was the oddest Fourth of July I've ever had would be an understatement--and not just because my traditional flag cake was nowhere to be found.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Drunken watercolor memories
A trip back to my college town this weekend revealed that, not only is all the food I still crave (Booche's burgers, Shakespeare's pizza, Pasta Factory cheesecake) just as awesome as I remembered, but also a good number of my college memories involve the copious consumption of alcohol. This is not quite so uncommon, I don't think, and maybe I wouldn't have noticed at all if my traveling companion hadn't pointed it out to me. Then again, surely I would have recognized the fact that a good number of my stories followed the same structure: "Hey, this is where [insert name of friend] and I [insert name of activity that probably would not have been undertaken had we been sober]."
It was an interesting thing, seeing my college experience through the eyes of someone who was both a part of that experience and at the same time not a part of it. It's a feeling that I've had before, one that seems inevitable as people's roles in your life shift. Each time, I learn something new, and it's often something so surprising that I wonder why I wasn't more aware of how I was perceived at the time. Was I too self-absorbed? Did I just not care? Or was I too busy drinking?
This time, what I learned is that the choices I made during those four years, about what I was going to spend my time doing and who I was going to do it with, alienated me from a lot of people that I liked and admired, people that I wish I'd gotten to know better. I think that's why I'm so thankful for this little blogging community, because most of you are the people who fit that description. Had these post-college friendships not been strengthened through the somewhat odd bond of sharing our lives on the Internet, I may have felt differently, but as it stands, there's nothing I would change about my college experience.
Well, that's not entirely true. I would've eaten at Booche's more. They just don't make burgers like that anywhere else.
A trip back to my college town this weekend revealed that, not only is all the food I still crave (Booche's burgers, Shakespeare's pizza, Pasta Factory cheesecake) just as awesome as I remembered, but also a good number of my college memories involve the copious consumption of alcohol. This is not quite so uncommon, I don't think, and maybe I wouldn't have noticed at all if my traveling companion hadn't pointed it out to me. Then again, surely I would have recognized the fact that a good number of my stories followed the same structure: "Hey, this is where [insert name of friend] and I [insert name of activity that probably would not have been undertaken had we been sober]."
It was an interesting thing, seeing my college experience through the eyes of someone who was both a part of that experience and at the same time not a part of it. It's a feeling that I've had before, one that seems inevitable as people's roles in your life shift. Each time, I learn something new, and it's often something so surprising that I wonder why I wasn't more aware of how I was perceived at the time. Was I too self-absorbed? Did I just not care? Or was I too busy drinking?
This time, what I learned is that the choices I made during those four years, about what I was going to spend my time doing and who I was going to do it with, alienated me from a lot of people that I liked and admired, people that I wish I'd gotten to know better. I think that's why I'm so thankful for this little blogging community, because most of you are the people who fit that description. Had these post-college friendships not been strengthened through the somewhat odd bond of sharing our lives on the Internet, I may have felt differently, but as it stands, there's nothing I would change about my college experience.
Well, that's not entirely true. I would've eaten at Booche's more. They just don't make burgers like that anywhere else.
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