Tuesday, June 06, 2006
American Cereal!
Last week, I bid a tearful farewell to my one true love, my Publix Crispy Corn & Rice cereal. Ever wonderful to the end, it even left me a parting missive in the box that read, "Every end is a new beginning. Love, Your Cereal." (I suspect it may have had some help from a ghostwriter, but still. Does your cereal leave you love notes?)
In the spirit of new beginnings, then, I am now on a quest for a new cereal, not entirely different, except in substance, from the Tyrant's Great Deodorant Search of '06. If we have learned anything from the popularity of American Idol, it is that decisions about people's futures are best left to those who have no stake whatsoever in said futures. Therefore, I am leaving the fate of my breakfast in the hands of you, my capable readers, in a new feature I like to call American Cereal!
The format is similar to American Idol, only it is blessedly Seacrest-free. And instead of a redundant judge, a drunk judge, and an obnoxiously villainized judge weighing in with their opinions, you'll just have me discussing cereal, which I hope will be more interesting than it sounds, but I'm not making any promises. Oh, and instead of a bunch of cereals competing and then being eliminated one by one, we'll have a different cereal each week to vote on. All right, so other than the name, it's nothing like American Idol. But you get to vote, and that's the important thing.
As the sole judge, I will give each cereal a rating from 1 (low) to 5 (high), based on criteria such as taste, crunchiness, and whether the thought of it helps propel me out of bed in the morning. This is where you come in. If you see your favorite cereal make an appearance, vote for it by leaving a comment, which can say anything from, "I love this cereal!" to "Ryan Seacrest sucks!" Each comment will receive one point, and those points will be added to the score given by me (I'm the one who has to eat this stuff every day, after all) to determine the winner, which will be announced at some as-yet-undetermined date in the future. If you're just really passionate about a particular type of cereal, I guess you can flood my comments with votes, but be warned that doing so may cause me to not want to be your friend anymore.
All right. Let's get started with Round 1 of American Cereal!
Competitor #1: Kashi Organic Promise Autumn Wheat
Taste: 4. Not bad. It has that wholesome vibe I was looking for, although I find the purported "kiss of sweetness" to be more of a full-on make-out session, which is a little much for me first thing in the morning.
Crunchiness: 1. This is where this cereal really falls down. It's not super-crunchy to begin with, and the longer it sits in milk, the more it goes downhill.
Wake-upability: 2. I do think about this cereal when I get up in the morning, but it's mostly in the context of pining for the loss of my other cereal, so I'm not sure that counts.
Total score: 7. If I may paraphrase Gwen Stefani, I kinda always knew this would end up a transition cereal. For one thing, it's expensive. I only bought it partly because it happened to be on sale, and partly because my dear, organic-obsessed friend Chris buys it, and I used to eat it at his house when I would sleep over. I figured a cereal that at least reminded me of home might help me ease into a new breakfast regimen. But I think I'm ready to move on now.
Last week, I bid a tearful farewell to my one true love, my Publix Crispy Corn & Rice cereal. Ever wonderful to the end, it even left me a parting missive in the box that read, "Every end is a new beginning. Love, Your Cereal." (I suspect it may have had some help from a ghostwriter, but still. Does your cereal leave you love notes?)
In the spirit of new beginnings, then, I am now on a quest for a new cereal, not entirely different, except in substance, from the Tyrant's Great Deodorant Search of '06. If we have learned anything from the popularity of American Idol, it is that decisions about people's futures are best left to those who have no stake whatsoever in said futures. Therefore, I am leaving the fate of my breakfast in the hands of you, my capable readers, in a new feature I like to call American Cereal!
The format is similar to American Idol, only it is blessedly Seacrest-free. And instead of a redundant judge, a drunk judge, and an obnoxiously villainized judge weighing in with their opinions, you'll just have me discussing cereal, which I hope will be more interesting than it sounds, but I'm not making any promises. Oh, and instead of a bunch of cereals competing and then being eliminated one by one, we'll have a different cereal each week to vote on. All right, so other than the name, it's nothing like American Idol. But you get to vote, and that's the important thing.
As the sole judge, I will give each cereal a rating from 1 (low) to 5 (high), based on criteria such as taste, crunchiness, and whether the thought of it helps propel me out of bed in the morning. This is where you come in. If you see your favorite cereal make an appearance, vote for it by leaving a comment, which can say anything from, "I love this cereal!" to "Ryan Seacrest sucks!" Each comment will receive one point, and those points will be added to the score given by me (I'm the one who has to eat this stuff every day, after all) to determine the winner, which will be announced at some as-yet-undetermined date in the future. If you're just really passionate about a particular type of cereal, I guess you can flood my comments with votes, but be warned that doing so may cause me to not want to be your friend anymore.
All right. Let's get started with Round 1 of American Cereal!
Competitor #1: Kashi Organic Promise Autumn Wheat
Taste: 4. Not bad. It has that wholesome vibe I was looking for, although I find the purported "kiss of sweetness" to be more of a full-on make-out session, which is a little much for me first thing in the morning.
Crunchiness: 1. This is where this cereal really falls down. It's not super-crunchy to begin with, and the longer it sits in milk, the more it goes downhill.
Wake-upability: 2. I do think about this cereal when I get up in the morning, but it's mostly in the context of pining for the loss of my other cereal, so I'm not sure that counts.
Total score: 7. If I may paraphrase Gwen Stefani, I kinda always knew this would end up a transition cereal. For one thing, it's expensive. I only bought it partly because it happened to be on sale, and partly because my dear, organic-obsessed friend Chris buys it, and I used to eat it at his house when I would sleep over. I figured a cereal that at least reminded me of home might help me ease into a new breakfast regimen. But I think I'm ready to move on now.
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