Friday, August 26, 2005
Ben brought this on himself, you know
Unlike my long-lost blog twin, I do not blame Ben Affleck for all of the ills in this world. In fact, I only blame him for one: the term “Bennifer” (which is no doubt being added to the next edition of Webster’s as we speak), and the celebrity name-combining frenzy it has inspired. I groaned at Brangelina, but I let it slide. I grudgingly learned to live with TomKat. I attempted to embrace the whole “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” motto with my own creation, Kennée (which, honestly, I can’t believe I haven’t seen anywhere else yet). I finally drew the line at Scartnett, but apparently that line wasn’t drawn clearly enough.
So I draw it again, this time with BenGar. Seriously, people! Ben Affleck does not merit two distinct relationship name combos. He got us into this whole mess by dating someone named Jennifer in the first place, so why should he get a new name combo when he starts dating someone else named Jennifer? In my opinion, Ben Affleck should be forced to wear the scourge of Bennifer for the rest of eternity (or at least until he stops dating, getting married to, and/or having babies with people named Jennifer, which, considering that he’s still got Aniston to go through after he’s done with Garner, won’t likely be any time soon). If a differentiation must be made between J.Lo and J.Gar (hmm, maybe I should be blaming Jennifer Lopez for these annoying name-shortening trends), can’t we just go with “Bennifer II,” “Bennifer Part Deux,” or—my personal favorite—“Bennifer 2.0”?
That said, I do have to admit that I found Ben’s SNL “Bennifer” spoof pretty entertaining (particularly when he pulled out the T-shirt that read “Mary-Kate and Ashfleck”). But that was a long time ago. My patience is wearing thin, Ben. Or should I call you Bennifer?
Unlike my long-lost blog twin, I do not blame Ben Affleck for all of the ills in this world. In fact, I only blame him for one: the term “Bennifer” (which is no doubt being added to the next edition of Webster’s as we speak), and the celebrity name-combining frenzy it has inspired. I groaned at Brangelina, but I let it slide. I grudgingly learned to live with TomKat. I attempted to embrace the whole “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” motto with my own creation, Kennée (which, honestly, I can’t believe I haven’t seen anywhere else yet). I finally drew the line at Scartnett, but apparently that line wasn’t drawn clearly enough.
So I draw it again, this time with BenGar. Seriously, people! Ben Affleck does not merit two distinct relationship name combos. He got us into this whole mess by dating someone named Jennifer in the first place, so why should he get a new name combo when he starts dating someone else named Jennifer? In my opinion, Ben Affleck should be forced to wear the scourge of Bennifer for the rest of eternity (or at least until he stops dating, getting married to, and/or having babies with people named Jennifer, which, considering that he’s still got Aniston to go through after he’s done with Garner, won’t likely be any time soon). If a differentiation must be made between J.Lo and J.Gar (hmm, maybe I should be blaming Jennifer Lopez for these annoying name-shortening trends), can’t we just go with “Bennifer II,” “Bennifer Part Deux,” or—my personal favorite—“Bennifer 2.0”?
That said, I do have to admit that I found Ben’s SNL “Bennifer” spoof pretty entertaining (particularly when he pulled out the T-shirt that read “Mary-Kate and Ashfleck”). But that was a long time ago. My patience is wearing thin, Ben. Or should I call you Bennifer?
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