Monday, April 18, 2005
The Dangers of Cell Phone Usage: A Cautionary Tale
Friends, today I am going to tell you about a very grave danger that will inevitably befall all cell phone users. I’m not talking about the possibility of getting cancer from radiation, or getting into an accident because you’re distracted while talking, or annoying other people in a public location, or garnering the ire of Dave. As you are about to see, the situation I shall relate is much, much more traumatizing.
I am talking, of course, about the fact that you will no longer know anyone’s phone number.
Now, you may not think this is a bad thing. I certainly didn’t at first. The convenience of having the contact information of my friends and family at my fingertips without ever having to write anything down seemed like a positive thing. Plus, since I no longer had to memorize phone numbers, there would be room in my brain for more important stuff, such as lyrics to songs I never liked in the first place yet somehow managed to memorize anyway after hearing them on the radio ad nauseam.
However, I am here to tell you that this is in fact not good thing. Recently, my cell phone display just suddenly decided to quit working. The phone is still fully functional; I just can’t see any of the information (i.e. phone numbers) stored within. I guess if I had thought to memorize the order of the names in my phone book, I could still use it, but I didn’t quite have such foresight, and therefore I’m hesitant to try this for fear of attempting to call the restaurant around the corner to order takeout and getting my grandfather in Texas instead.
So now the only people I can call are those whose phone numbers I have memorized (which pretty much amounts to…my parents) or those who have at some point sent me an e-mail telling me their phone number (assuming the e-mail was sent fairly recently and has not yet been deleted from my account). So if you don’t hear from me for a while…well, now you know why.
Friends, today I am going to tell you about a very grave danger that will inevitably befall all cell phone users. I’m not talking about the possibility of getting cancer from radiation, or getting into an accident because you’re distracted while talking, or annoying other people in a public location, or garnering the ire of Dave. As you are about to see, the situation I shall relate is much, much more traumatizing.
I am talking, of course, about the fact that you will no longer know anyone’s phone number.
Now, you may not think this is a bad thing. I certainly didn’t at first. The convenience of having the contact information of my friends and family at my fingertips without ever having to write anything down seemed like a positive thing. Plus, since I no longer had to memorize phone numbers, there would be room in my brain for more important stuff, such as lyrics to songs I never liked in the first place yet somehow managed to memorize anyway after hearing them on the radio ad nauseam.
However, I am here to tell you that this is in fact not good thing. Recently, my cell phone display just suddenly decided to quit working. The phone is still fully functional; I just can’t see any of the information (i.e. phone numbers) stored within. I guess if I had thought to memorize the order of the names in my phone book, I could still use it, but I didn’t quite have such foresight, and therefore I’m hesitant to try this for fear of attempting to call the restaurant around the corner to order takeout and getting my grandfather in Texas instead.
So now the only people I can call are those whose phone numbers I have memorized (which pretty much amounts to…my parents) or those who have at some point sent me an e-mail telling me their phone number (assuming the e-mail was sent fairly recently and has not yet been deleted from my account). So if you don’t hear from me for a while…well, now you know why.
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