Thursday, September 23, 2004
The tables are turning so fast that it’s making me dizzy!
Was that really The Bachelor I saw last night? It must have been, as it was a Wednesday night at 8:00, and I was watching ABC. But without the consistency of date and time, I might not have known. The Bachelor really appears to be shaking things up this season, having broadened their definition of “shaking things up” past stupid twists like the first-impression rose and the least-compatible date and whatever the hell twist they came up with during the Meredith season that was so boring I don’t even remember it. Among the renovations:
-A new house. Which kinda looks the same as the old house, really, only it’s a little more breezy and casual, to go along with the new “more breezy and casual” tone of the show.
-A rewritten and revamped Chris Harrison opening monologue. I can only imagine that this was designed to dispel rumors that he’s actually a robot.
-No Most Dramatic! Rose Ceremony! Ever! promos. Yet. But it’s still early.
-No more out-of-the-limo introductions. Thank God, because if I had to hear one more person say, “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” I was going to throw things at the TV.
-Two bachelors. This was the most hyped change, and frankly the one I found least interesting, mostly because it appears to be blatantly ripped off from For Love or Money. Plus, whatever excitement it does generate really doesn’t last past the first episode. It is worth noting, however, that both bachelors were in their 40s, which corresponds with…
-Older women. Twenty-seven seems to be the youngest age for any contestant this season. I can remember a time in the not-so-distant past when a 27-year-old would have been near the top of the age spectrum.
-The propose-or-die clause. In other words, you can’t do the mealy-mouthed Bob Guiney thing—you either propose to the woman you choose, or you walk away alone.
-The addition of the bachelor himself to the ladies’ living quarters. Of all the changes seemingly designed to improve the show’s track record (which is so far, not counting the Bachelorette seasons, 0-5), this one seems the most practical. After all, one of the problems of the show, as I’ve pointed out, is that it doesn’t exactly prepare people for the reality of marriage by sending them on tons uber-romantic fantasy dates. By having the bachelor live in the same house with the women, they’ll be able to take a bit of the fantasy out of the whole thing. That said, they are still living in a house that’s nicer (I assume) than most of them could afford in real life. And they’re being followed around by camera crews. And the fantasy dates are still there. Bottom line: Even with all the big changes, I still don’t believe it’s possible to form a lasting relationship in this medium. But hey, that’s why I’m not on the show.
J. Alexander’s Quote of The Week
You didn’t think I’d forgotten about America’s Next Top Model, did you? In the absence of the oh-so-quotable Janice Dickinson this week, the almost-as-quotable J. Alexander will have to suffice.
“When she took those puppies out, they were full-grown dogs!” –J., on one of the well-endowed plus-size models
Oh, and did anyone else notice how Catie tried to sneak back on the show this season under the not-so-clever disguise of a black streak in her hair and the name Rachael? Thank God they headed her off, but, unfortunately, not before allowing her to have one last on-screen bawl-fest.
Was that really The Bachelor I saw last night? It must have been, as it was a Wednesday night at 8:00, and I was watching ABC. But without the consistency of date and time, I might not have known. The Bachelor really appears to be shaking things up this season, having broadened their definition of “shaking things up” past stupid twists like the first-impression rose and the least-compatible date and whatever the hell twist they came up with during the Meredith season that was so boring I don’t even remember it. Among the renovations:
-A new house. Which kinda looks the same as the old house, really, only it’s a little more breezy and casual, to go along with the new “more breezy and casual” tone of the show.
-A rewritten and revamped Chris Harrison opening monologue. I can only imagine that this was designed to dispel rumors that he’s actually a robot.
-No Most Dramatic! Rose Ceremony! Ever! promos. Yet. But it’s still early.
-No more out-of-the-limo introductions. Thank God, because if I had to hear one more person say, “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” I was going to throw things at the TV.
-Two bachelors. This was the most hyped change, and frankly the one I found least interesting, mostly because it appears to be blatantly ripped off from For Love or Money. Plus, whatever excitement it does generate really doesn’t last past the first episode. It is worth noting, however, that both bachelors were in their 40s, which corresponds with…
-Older women. Twenty-seven seems to be the youngest age for any contestant this season. I can remember a time in the not-so-distant past when a 27-year-old would have been near the top of the age spectrum.
-The propose-or-die clause. In other words, you can’t do the mealy-mouthed Bob Guiney thing—you either propose to the woman you choose, or you walk away alone.
-The addition of the bachelor himself to the ladies’ living quarters. Of all the changes seemingly designed to improve the show’s track record (which is so far, not counting the Bachelorette seasons, 0-5), this one seems the most practical. After all, one of the problems of the show, as I’ve pointed out, is that it doesn’t exactly prepare people for the reality of marriage by sending them on tons uber-romantic fantasy dates. By having the bachelor live in the same house with the women, they’ll be able to take a bit of the fantasy out of the whole thing. That said, they are still living in a house that’s nicer (I assume) than most of them could afford in real life. And they’re being followed around by camera crews. And the fantasy dates are still there. Bottom line: Even with all the big changes, I still don’t believe it’s possible to form a lasting relationship in this medium. But hey, that’s why I’m not on the show.
J. Alexander’s Quote of The Week
You didn’t think I’d forgotten about America’s Next Top Model, did you? In the absence of the oh-so-quotable Janice Dickinson this week, the almost-as-quotable J. Alexander will have to suffice.
“When she took those puppies out, they were full-grown dogs!” –J., on one of the well-endowed plus-size models
Oh, and did anyone else notice how Catie tried to sneak back on the show this season under the not-so-clever disguise of a black streak in her hair and the name Rachael? Thank God they headed her off, but, unfortunately, not before allowing her to have one last on-screen bawl-fest.
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