Tuesday, August 17, 2004
My future husband
I've finally found him. I'm reading this book called Love Monkey (and no, I have no explanation as to why I chose to read this book, other than that since I have read so many Helen Fielding rip-offs, I figured it was time to try a Nick Hornby rip-off) by a guy called Kyle Smith. In the book, the narrator (who I realize is actually a fictional character, but, based on the author blurb on the jacket, the book seems to be somewhat autobiographical) bemoans being single because he has no one to make sarcastic comments to while watching TV. Remember when I said the best thing about being married would be having someone to make sarcastic comments to while watching TV? Obviously we're meant for each other.
However, later in the book, the narrator also makes an offhanded mention of people frying up cats in trailer parks in Birmingham, which suggests how little he actually knows about this region of the country. Sure, we may be in Alabama, but Birmingham is a very upscale, metropolitan city (as those who have been to visit me can attest). I have not seen one trailer park since I moved here two years ago. Of course, that doesn't mean they don't exist, but still. I was offended. So much for my future husband. (Oh well, at least I still have Scott, who's not too shabby with the sarcastic commenting himself.)
Then again...
Who needs boys when you have IKEA? I just discovered that there's one coming to Atlanta next summer. The countdown has officially begun! Now if only they could get an H&M, too, my requirements for cheap European imports would be completely satisfied.
But on the other hand...
Boys are quite nice to look at. Especially when those boys are Michael Phelps and Ian Thorpe. I just wish they wouldn't insist on wearing those full-body suits when swimming. Why are those so popular all of a sudden? Do they help you go faster? Or is it just really chilly in Athens? The triumphant return of the Speedo seems like such a small concession to make to the millions of female fans out there. At least the divers still know what women want.
While we're on the subject, I was a bit miffed that the results of yesterday's big race were reported in a big, splashy headline on the front page of MSN hours before the race actually aired on NBC. I mean, I understand that there are some people who want to know the results as soon as the race is over, before they even see it on TV. (Not sure who these people are, but probably the ones with some money riding on it.) But there are some of us who like to be kept in suspense. Would it kill MSN to post this stuff on an interior page instead of making it the lead headline on the page that everyone sees when logging out of Hotmail? If you're going to do that, you might as well have Bob Costas announce, "We turn our attention now to the pool, where Ian Thorpe is about to win gold in the 200-meter freestyle." Honestly. I am boycotting MSN until the Olympics are over. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do this without also boycotting Hotmail, but I am.
I've finally found him. I'm reading this book called Love Monkey (and no, I have no explanation as to why I chose to read this book, other than that since I have read so many Helen Fielding rip-offs, I figured it was time to try a Nick Hornby rip-off) by a guy called Kyle Smith. In the book, the narrator (who I realize is actually a fictional character, but, based on the author blurb on the jacket, the book seems to be somewhat autobiographical) bemoans being single because he has no one to make sarcastic comments to while watching TV. Remember when I said the best thing about being married would be having someone to make sarcastic comments to while watching TV? Obviously we're meant for each other.
However, later in the book, the narrator also makes an offhanded mention of people frying up cats in trailer parks in Birmingham, which suggests how little he actually knows about this region of the country. Sure, we may be in Alabama, but Birmingham is a very upscale, metropolitan city (as those who have been to visit me can attest). I have not seen one trailer park since I moved here two years ago. Of course, that doesn't mean they don't exist, but still. I was offended. So much for my future husband. (Oh well, at least I still have Scott, who's not too shabby with the sarcastic commenting himself.)
Then again...
Who needs boys when you have IKEA? I just discovered that there's one coming to Atlanta next summer. The countdown has officially begun! Now if only they could get an H&M, too, my requirements for cheap European imports would be completely satisfied.
But on the other hand...
Boys are quite nice to look at. Especially when those boys are Michael Phelps and Ian Thorpe. I just wish they wouldn't insist on wearing those full-body suits when swimming. Why are those so popular all of a sudden? Do they help you go faster? Or is it just really chilly in Athens? The triumphant return of the Speedo seems like such a small concession to make to the millions of female fans out there. At least the divers still know what women want.
While we're on the subject, I was a bit miffed that the results of yesterday's big race were reported in a big, splashy headline on the front page of MSN hours before the race actually aired on NBC. I mean, I understand that there are some people who want to know the results as soon as the race is over, before they even see it on TV. (Not sure who these people are, but probably the ones with some money riding on it.) But there are some of us who like to be kept in suspense. Would it kill MSN to post this stuff on an interior page instead of making it the lead headline on the page that everyone sees when logging out of Hotmail? If you're going to do that, you might as well have Bob Costas announce, "We turn our attention now to the pool, where Ian Thorpe is about to win gold in the 200-meter freestyle." Honestly. I am boycotting MSN until the Olympics are over. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do this without also boycotting Hotmail, but I am.
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