Friday, April 30, 2004
Yeah, I’m a copycat
But it’s not like I’m copying Kristin just for the sake of copying. It’s just that her idea of making introductions was such a great one. I’ve recently realized that, although many of the people on my link bar to the left all went to the same college, they might not know each other, or know how I know some of the others. In fact, I’m afraid that some of them might not even know how they know me. Hence the ripping off of Kristin’s idea.
But first, a little terminology lesson that will prove helpful to those of you who did not attend college with us. Most of these people I know because they were members (at various times) of the Freshman Interest Group (FIG) that I belonged to my first semester of college. As a result, most of us also lived in the same dorm, called the Fine Arts Residential College (or FARC). And, at some point, we spent some time in the esteemed School of Journalism (or the j-school). Oh, how Mizzou loves its abbreviations. Now that we’re all up to speed, let’s begin.
Anne was in the FIG after me. She too was a magazine major, which means she had the great privilege of being annoyed by many of the same people as me. For this reason, Anne was (and still is) one of my best sources of juicy j-school gossip.
Hannah is one of my friends from the study abroad program I did in London. Hannah and I became friends after I struck up a conversation with her, thinking she was someone else. But I soon found out that Hannah was much cooler than the person I had originally intended to talk to, so it all worked out. Hannah and I both get bitterly competitive over board games, so it’s best to put us on a team together to avoid a big tiff that will certainly be brought up again each time a board game is played.
The Cynical Tyrant is widely believed to be my long-lost twin. Yet we have never met. She stumbled upon my blog by random coincidence (or an act of divine intervention, however you want to look at it), and we soon discovered that we shared a deep obsession for American Idol (the outcome of which we have been known to control through our joint mystical powers) and Bluebell chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream.
Holly was in the FIG with me. Although we became friends freshman year, our first major bonding experience occurred sophomore year, when I accompanied Holly to the mall to get half of her hair chopped off and then helped her conquer her fear of dancing at The Blue Note. Since then, Holly and I have gone out dancing many more times and gone to the mall many, many, many more times (though usually for shopping, not a repeat of the hair-chopping incident).
Dave was in the FIG before me. We bonded freshman year when he let me paint his fingernails purple. Then we bonded again a few years later when we nearly met our untimely demise on an ill-fated teacup ride. Obviously, Dave and I have been through a lot together, which is probably why he’s willing to indulge me when I ask him to take pictures of me holding up monuments and stuff.
Heather (the originator of the holding-stuff-up picture) is another of my friends from my time in London. She might be the most insane person I know, which is why I love her. Heather and I have had many adventures together, including an awesome trip to Barcelona, an…um, interesting trip to Ireland and a trip to France during which Heather was convinced we were going to be murdered by a man making mashed potatoes in our hostel kitchen.
Justin was in the FIG after me, and he is probably one of the coolest people I know in real life. He’s like a rock star, only without a band. Plus, he has a Super Cool Girlfriend, Kristin (whose relationship to me will be discussed later, because I’m going in order of links). So is it any surprise that Justin, like yours truly, was part of The Coolest Class of All Time (Critical Reviewing)?
Rob was, I believe, two FIGs after me. By that time, I had already moved out of the dorm, so I never got to live with Rob. However, due to a chance meeting on the street outside my apartment building, Rob was the last person I saw before I left college, and the first person to find out that I was moving to Birmingham (besides my dad, who told me).
Amber was the head honcho (PA in Mizzou-speak) of my FIG, and of Dave’s FIG, too. I love Amber because she gives you money when you use big words. Three years ago, at Kristen’s 21st birthday party, she gave me a quarter for saying that Chicago should be extricated from the state of Illinois. This was shortly before I got so drunk that I fell flat on my face on the sidewalk.
J-Dub was in the FIG after me. I once wrote a story on his Christmas decorations for the Missourian because he had a stocking for Wilford Brimley. Consequently, in my pile o’ clips, I now have a huge picture of him standing by a Christmas tree.
Autumn was friends with a number of my j-school friends. She also really likes to watch Friends. I would run into Autumn occasionally when we were both working at the Missourian, and once she unwittingly sent me into the projects after I agreed to do a Vox story for her.
Chase was a co-editor with me at Vox and a co-member of the highly exclusive organization G.L.O.S. (Gorgeous Ladies of Screen, or in his case, Gigolo Lothario of Screen). Chase coined the phrase “caustic and sensual” to describe me (in conjunction with Kate). He is also quite caustic and sensual himself, which is why I’m willing to forgive him for doing things like throwing up on my car and quoting offensive lines from Storytelling at inappropriate moments.
Scott was in the FIG after me. Occasionally, I would run into him when he was giving campus tours. And for some reason, I think he was a Summer Welcome leader when I was working at the Union, although I might be making that up. He shares my obsession with melodramatic prime-time soap operas set in California, and that is why he is my new pretend fiancé.
Kristin was also in the FIG after me. She was the first beautiful young person I knew who could knit, so I thought she was cool. Then I found out that she loves N Sync and reading, and her coolness was cemented. Apparently, the first time I met Kristin, I was too drunk to remember it. Lovely.
Doug was in my FIG. I knew I liked Doug when, a few days after meeting him, he revealed that he shared my utter loathing for pep rallies and anything having to do with school spirit. He also revealed that he had never seen a deer except for in the zoo, which caused me to think he led a really sheltered life. And also that he had patronized some really odd zoos. These days, Doug and I are pen pals, which started after I sent him a note on some weird stationery for some reason I cannot recall. He also used to be my pretend fiancé, before he dumped me for Katrina and I dumped him for Scott.
Kella was my CE (Mizzou-speak for RA) at FARC for a brief time before I moved to London. During that time, she gave us a survey to fill out about what we would do if we were president. One of the questions on the survey was, “What request of yours would present the greatest challenge to your spin doctors?” My answer: “Me constantly asking them to play ‘Two Princes.’” Unfortunately, I later came to a question in the survey that I could not think of a sarcastic quip for, so I never finished it. Which is a shame, because I was really proud of that answer.
So that’s everyone on the link bar. But there are a few other people who need introductions, either because they used to be on the link bar but foolishly gave up their blogs or because they never had blogs in the first place (despite my constant pleas) but are often mentioned on this one. These people are:
Paul, who was in the FIG after me. Along with Justin, he is the Co-Conspirator of Cool. He was also part of the Coolest Class of All Time, which is how he came to be sitting next to me while I slept through most of Apocalypse Now Redux. Paul is also responsible for teaching me how to deal drugs on a TI-86 calculator.
Julie, who was also in the FIG after me. (See a pattern here?) Julie and I were members of the Uncoolest Class of All Time (Cross-Cultural Journalism, which not even Jacqui Banaszynski—the Coolest Teacher of All Time—could save from uncoolness), where we exchanged many an eye-roll over the antics of our fellow classmates. Come to think of it, Paul was also in that class with us, and one day to illustrate diversity in magazine advertising, he brought in an ad with a robot in it, which was probably the funniest thing that ever happened in that class.
Kate, who was in my FIG. When asked to describe each other, Kate and I usually say, “She’s like me…only different.” When asked to describe us collectively, her dad says we’re “throwbacks to the Gatsby era.” Kate and I have been friends since the first day of freshman year, when Amber broke our FIG into pairs and had us tell each other our most embarrassing moments. Only I wouldn’t stop talking and flying off into a million different tangents, so when it came time for Kate to share my most embarrassing moment with the group, she couldn’t remember what it was and had to make something up.
Kristen, who was also in my FIG and is another friend from the first day of college. She’s also my drinking buddy and co-creator of the secret drinking buddy handshake (which is actually not much of a secret, since we were so proud of it that we showed it to everyone). I can take credit for introducing Kristen to the wonder that is squirt cheese, and she can take credit for introducing me to the wonder that is Moose Tracks ice cream. Last year, Kristen got married in The Most Awesome Wedding Ever. It seriously was awesome. See for yourself.
Diana, another member of my FIG and my roommate all four years of college. Through a seemingly random assignment from Res Life, Diana and I found each other and discovered that we had the same favorite color (red), dads with the same first name (Tom) and the same lifelong dream (to spend the night in a 24-hour Wal-Mart). Diana and I have been through much together, including the extremely difficult admission of our mutual admiration of Britney Spears, a battle with our crippling addiction to Monopoly and a pilgrimage to Graceland, as well as some other things that shouldn’t be mentioned in polite company.
Bri, who is one of my oldest friends. Not in terms of age (she’s probably one of my youngest friends in that respect), but in terms of knowing me the longest. Bri and I have been friends for as long as I can remember, although judging by the pictures in family photo albums, it was probably when I was about 5 and she was about 3. Technically, Bri was my sister’s friend first, because when you’re little, you tend to only be friends with people your own age. But then we got into high school and spent many, many hours together during thrift-shopping expeditions, marching band competitions and church trips to Florida. It was during these many hours that we launched most of our great ideas, including Razorblade Marshmallow, our line of cute one-piece swimwear, and clubs such as the Hamsters Against Drunk Driving (HADD), the International Federation of Playa Hatas (IFPH) and our most famous, The Saved by the Bell Preservation/Appreciation Society (SBTBP/AS), which eventually spawned The Saved by the Bell Blog.
Whew! OK, now you all know each other. I probably should have done that sooner.
But it’s not like I’m copying Kristin just for the sake of copying. It’s just that her idea of making introductions was such a great one. I’ve recently realized that, although many of the people on my link bar to the left all went to the same college, they might not know each other, or know how I know some of the others. In fact, I’m afraid that some of them might not even know how they know me. Hence the ripping off of Kristin’s idea.
But first, a little terminology lesson that will prove helpful to those of you who did not attend college with us. Most of these people I know because they were members (at various times) of the Freshman Interest Group (FIG) that I belonged to my first semester of college. As a result, most of us also lived in the same dorm, called the Fine Arts Residential College (or FARC). And, at some point, we spent some time in the esteemed School of Journalism (or the j-school). Oh, how Mizzou loves its abbreviations. Now that we’re all up to speed, let’s begin.
Anne was in the FIG after me. She too was a magazine major, which means she had the great privilege of being annoyed by many of the same people as me. For this reason, Anne was (and still is) one of my best sources of juicy j-school gossip.
Hannah is one of my friends from the study abroad program I did in London. Hannah and I became friends after I struck up a conversation with her, thinking she was someone else. But I soon found out that Hannah was much cooler than the person I had originally intended to talk to, so it all worked out. Hannah and I both get bitterly competitive over board games, so it’s best to put us on a team together to avoid a big tiff that will certainly be brought up again each time a board game is played.
The Cynical Tyrant is widely believed to be my long-lost twin. Yet we have never met. She stumbled upon my blog by random coincidence (or an act of divine intervention, however you want to look at it), and we soon discovered that we shared a deep obsession for American Idol (the outcome of which we have been known to control through our joint mystical powers) and Bluebell chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream.
Holly was in the FIG with me. Although we became friends freshman year, our first major bonding experience occurred sophomore year, when I accompanied Holly to the mall to get half of her hair chopped off and then helped her conquer her fear of dancing at The Blue Note. Since then, Holly and I have gone out dancing many more times and gone to the mall many, many, many more times (though usually for shopping, not a repeat of the hair-chopping incident).
Dave was in the FIG before me. We bonded freshman year when he let me paint his fingernails purple. Then we bonded again a few years later when we nearly met our untimely demise on an ill-fated teacup ride. Obviously, Dave and I have been through a lot together, which is probably why he’s willing to indulge me when I ask him to take pictures of me holding up monuments and stuff.
Heather (the originator of the holding-stuff-up picture) is another of my friends from my time in London. She might be the most insane person I know, which is why I love her. Heather and I have had many adventures together, including an awesome trip to Barcelona, an…um, interesting trip to Ireland and a trip to France during which Heather was convinced we were going to be murdered by a man making mashed potatoes in our hostel kitchen.
Justin was in the FIG after me, and he is probably one of the coolest people I know in real life. He’s like a rock star, only without a band. Plus, he has a Super Cool Girlfriend, Kristin (whose relationship to me will be discussed later, because I’m going in order of links). So is it any surprise that Justin, like yours truly, was part of The Coolest Class of All Time (Critical Reviewing)?
Rob was, I believe, two FIGs after me. By that time, I had already moved out of the dorm, so I never got to live with Rob. However, due to a chance meeting on the street outside my apartment building, Rob was the last person I saw before I left college, and the first person to find out that I was moving to Birmingham (besides my dad, who told me).
Amber was the head honcho (PA in Mizzou-speak) of my FIG, and of Dave’s FIG, too. I love Amber because she gives you money when you use big words. Three years ago, at Kristen’s 21st birthday party, she gave me a quarter for saying that Chicago should be extricated from the state of Illinois. This was shortly before I got so drunk that I fell flat on my face on the sidewalk.
J-Dub was in the FIG after me. I once wrote a story on his Christmas decorations for the Missourian because he had a stocking for Wilford Brimley. Consequently, in my pile o’ clips, I now have a huge picture of him standing by a Christmas tree.
Autumn was friends with a number of my j-school friends. She also really likes to watch Friends. I would run into Autumn occasionally when we were both working at the Missourian, and once she unwittingly sent me into the projects after I agreed to do a Vox story for her.
Chase was a co-editor with me at Vox and a co-member of the highly exclusive organization G.L.O.S. (Gorgeous Ladies of Screen, or in his case, Gigolo Lothario of Screen). Chase coined the phrase “caustic and sensual” to describe me (in conjunction with Kate). He is also quite caustic and sensual himself, which is why I’m willing to forgive him for doing things like throwing up on my car and quoting offensive lines from Storytelling at inappropriate moments.
Scott was in the FIG after me. Occasionally, I would run into him when he was giving campus tours. And for some reason, I think he was a Summer Welcome leader when I was working at the Union, although I might be making that up. He shares my obsession with melodramatic prime-time soap operas set in California, and that is why he is my new pretend fiancé.
Kristin was also in the FIG after me. She was the first beautiful young person I knew who could knit, so I thought she was cool. Then I found out that she loves N Sync and reading, and her coolness was cemented. Apparently, the first time I met Kristin, I was too drunk to remember it. Lovely.
Doug was in my FIG. I knew I liked Doug when, a few days after meeting him, he revealed that he shared my utter loathing for pep rallies and anything having to do with school spirit. He also revealed that he had never seen a deer except for in the zoo, which caused me to think he led a really sheltered life. And also that he had patronized some really odd zoos. These days, Doug and I are pen pals, which started after I sent him a note on some weird stationery for some reason I cannot recall. He also used to be my pretend fiancé, before he dumped me for Katrina and I dumped him for Scott.
Kella was my CE (Mizzou-speak for RA) at FARC for a brief time before I moved to London. During that time, she gave us a survey to fill out about what we would do if we were president. One of the questions on the survey was, “What request of yours would present the greatest challenge to your spin doctors?” My answer: “Me constantly asking them to play ‘Two Princes.’” Unfortunately, I later came to a question in the survey that I could not think of a sarcastic quip for, so I never finished it. Which is a shame, because I was really proud of that answer.
So that’s everyone on the link bar. But there are a few other people who need introductions, either because they used to be on the link bar but foolishly gave up their blogs or because they never had blogs in the first place (despite my constant pleas) but are often mentioned on this one. These people are:
Paul, who was in the FIG after me. Along with Justin, he is the Co-Conspirator of Cool. He was also part of the Coolest Class of All Time, which is how he came to be sitting next to me while I slept through most of Apocalypse Now Redux. Paul is also responsible for teaching me how to deal drugs on a TI-86 calculator.
Julie, who was also in the FIG after me. (See a pattern here?) Julie and I were members of the Uncoolest Class of All Time (Cross-Cultural Journalism, which not even Jacqui Banaszynski—the Coolest Teacher of All Time—could save from uncoolness), where we exchanged many an eye-roll over the antics of our fellow classmates. Come to think of it, Paul was also in that class with us, and one day to illustrate diversity in magazine advertising, he brought in an ad with a robot in it, which was probably the funniest thing that ever happened in that class.
Kate, who was in my FIG. When asked to describe each other, Kate and I usually say, “She’s like me…only different.” When asked to describe us collectively, her dad says we’re “throwbacks to the Gatsby era.” Kate and I have been friends since the first day of freshman year, when Amber broke our FIG into pairs and had us tell each other our most embarrassing moments. Only I wouldn’t stop talking and flying off into a million different tangents, so when it came time for Kate to share my most embarrassing moment with the group, she couldn’t remember what it was and had to make something up.
Kristen, who was also in my FIG and is another friend from the first day of college. She’s also my drinking buddy and co-creator of the secret drinking buddy handshake (which is actually not much of a secret, since we were so proud of it that we showed it to everyone). I can take credit for introducing Kristen to the wonder that is squirt cheese, and she can take credit for introducing me to the wonder that is Moose Tracks ice cream. Last year, Kristen got married in The Most Awesome Wedding Ever. It seriously was awesome. See for yourself.
Diana, another member of my FIG and my roommate all four years of college. Through a seemingly random assignment from Res Life, Diana and I found each other and discovered that we had the same favorite color (red), dads with the same first name (Tom) and the same lifelong dream (to spend the night in a 24-hour Wal-Mart). Diana and I have been through much together, including the extremely difficult admission of our mutual admiration of Britney Spears, a battle with our crippling addiction to Monopoly and a pilgrimage to Graceland, as well as some other things that shouldn’t be mentioned in polite company.
Bri, who is one of my oldest friends. Not in terms of age (she’s probably one of my youngest friends in that respect), but in terms of knowing me the longest. Bri and I have been friends for as long as I can remember, although judging by the pictures in family photo albums, it was probably when I was about 5 and she was about 3. Technically, Bri was my sister’s friend first, because when you’re little, you tend to only be friends with people your own age. But then we got into high school and spent many, many hours together during thrift-shopping expeditions, marching band competitions and church trips to Florida. It was during these many hours that we launched most of our great ideas, including Razorblade Marshmallow, our line of cute one-piece swimwear, and clubs such as the Hamsters Against Drunk Driving (HADD), the International Federation of Playa Hatas (IFPH) and our most famous, The Saved by the Bell Preservation/Appreciation Society (SBTBP/AS), which eventually spawned The Saved by the Bell Blog.
Whew! OK, now you all know each other. I probably should have done that sooner.
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