Friday, April 16, 2004
This one goes out to the one I love
You know, after a reality-television extravaganza like we had last night, I could very easily take this time to write about all the people I hate. Like Omarosa for being a blatant liar and just a general nutjob. Or Heidi for being such a whore. Or Ryan Seacrest for being...well, Ryan Seacrest. But that could take hours. So instead, I'm going to talk about the people I love.
Jon Peter Lewis. I can't explain it. I love his "dancing." I love him for refusing to hold Diana DeGarmo's hand like some pageant contestant during the elimination. I love him for dancing with his dad during his final American Idol performance. I do not love, however, all the hussies that were also trying to dance with him as he made his way through the audience. Back off, hussies! He's my reality-TV boyfriend! Plus, he has like 10 brothers. There are plenty of them to go around.
Jason Priestley. I know you all thought he was in the American Idol audience last night to promote Tru Calling. But oh, how wrong you are! The truth of the matter is that Jason became mesmerized with me after seeing me in the audience of a play he did in London four years ago. (You can ask Heather and Hannah--he was staring at me the whole time!) Knowing that American Idol is one of my favorite shows, Jason wanted to reach out to me again by making a guest appearance. Wasn't that sweet?
Bill Rancic and Kwame Jackson. The Donald might have had to choose between them, but I don't. I love both Bill and Kwame, for different reasons. I love Kwame because every time I saw him in his power suit, I was reminded of his story last week about how his grandfather signed his name with an X. It is the American dream brought to life, as he pointed out, and it brings a tear to my eye. Plus, he's just so darn cute! Then there's Bill (who is also pretty darn cute). I love Bill because he's just like me. Some people call his style "micromanaging," but I call it staying on top of things. As I said last week, I think it's just naive to just expect every single person who works for you to do his or her job competently--particularly when you have no prior experience with them as an employee. While some people might disagree with this style (ahem, Amy and Katrina, who I won't go off on because I promised not to talk about people I hate), it's ultimately what won Bill the job.
The Donald. Yes, you read that right. I freaking love Donald Trump. He's a camp classic. I mean, the man refers to himself as "The Donald," for heaven's sake! How can you not love that? Although I will say, I was disappointed that he didn't go for the obvious jab when he handed Bill the keys to his new Chrysler Crossfire. There was a pause there in which I thought he was setting up for what would have been an awesome punchline ("By the way, it's just a rental"), but instead he started thanking George Steinbrenner for...uh, doing the show before him or something like that. What the hell does that even mean? Is that a Seinfeld reference? That whole exchange made me love The Donald a little less. But I have no doubt that Miss Alli will pick up the joke on the recap. Why? Because I freaking love her, too.
You know, after a reality-television extravaganza like we had last night, I could very easily take this time to write about all the people I hate. Like Omarosa for being a blatant liar and just a general nutjob. Or Heidi for being such a whore. Or Ryan Seacrest for being...well, Ryan Seacrest. But that could take hours. So instead, I'm going to talk about the people I love.
Jon Peter Lewis. I can't explain it. I love his "dancing." I love him for refusing to hold Diana DeGarmo's hand like some pageant contestant during the elimination. I love him for dancing with his dad during his final American Idol performance. I do not love, however, all the hussies that were also trying to dance with him as he made his way through the audience. Back off, hussies! He's my reality-TV boyfriend! Plus, he has like 10 brothers. There are plenty of them to go around.
Jason Priestley. I know you all thought he was in the American Idol audience last night to promote Tru Calling. But oh, how wrong you are! The truth of the matter is that Jason became mesmerized with me after seeing me in the audience of a play he did in London four years ago. (You can ask Heather and Hannah--he was staring at me the whole time!) Knowing that American Idol is one of my favorite shows, Jason wanted to reach out to me again by making a guest appearance. Wasn't that sweet?
Bill Rancic and Kwame Jackson. The Donald might have had to choose between them, but I don't. I love both Bill and Kwame, for different reasons. I love Kwame because every time I saw him in his power suit, I was reminded of his story last week about how his grandfather signed his name with an X. It is the American dream brought to life, as he pointed out, and it brings a tear to my eye. Plus, he's just so darn cute! Then there's Bill (who is also pretty darn cute). I love Bill because he's just like me. Some people call his style "micromanaging," but I call it staying on top of things. As I said last week, I think it's just naive to just expect every single person who works for you to do his or her job competently--particularly when you have no prior experience with them as an employee. While some people might disagree with this style (ahem, Amy and Katrina, who I won't go off on because I promised not to talk about people I hate), it's ultimately what won Bill the job.
The Donald. Yes, you read that right. I freaking love Donald Trump. He's a camp classic. I mean, the man refers to himself as "The Donald," for heaven's sake! How can you not love that? Although I will say, I was disappointed that he didn't go for the obvious jab when he handed Bill the keys to his new Chrysler Crossfire. There was a pause there in which I thought he was setting up for what would have been an awesome punchline ("By the way, it's just a rental"), but instead he started thanking George Steinbrenner for...uh, doing the show before him or something like that. What the hell does that even mean? Is that a Seinfeld reference? That whole exchange made me love The Donald a little less. But I have no doubt that Miss Alli will pick up the joke on the recap. Why? Because I freaking love her, too.
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