Thursday, May 22, 2003
And the award goes to...
With the week-long finale of American Idol (of which I watched approximately 3 minutes...but what a great 3 minutes) mercifully coming to an end and Jen and Andrew finally getting to begin their life of deluding themselves that they've formed a lasting relationship until their inevitable breakup on an ABC-televised special, I thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the end of my Wednesday-night marathon reality-TV-watching sessions by giving out a few awards. So without further ado...
Best runner-up: Clay Aiken
True, Clay didn't really have reason to be upset that he didn't win since Clive Davis pretty much told everyone that regardless of who won, RCA was planning to not only produce both of the finalists' albums but also release them on the same day. But he still took it like a champ. Although, come to think of it, he did kind of hog Ruben's spotlight in the aftermath. But Ruben is a man of few words, and someone has to fill those gaping silences--better Clay than Ryan Seacrest. And it's not like he even comes close to our winner for...
Worst runner-up: Kirsten
Real shocker here. It's like she's trying to see how many times she can get Andrew to tell her he doesn't love her on national TV. Go away, Kirsten! I swear, if I have to, like, hear you, like, speak, like, one more time, I'm gonna, like, gouge my eyeballs out!
Best kiss: Tim and Nicole
Awwwww. That was so sweet, in a junior-prom kind of way. It's best to try and forget the fact that these two are in college, and it shouldn't take them 5 freaking weeks to kiss each other for the first time. That's what alcohol is for, sillies!
Worst kiss: Paula and Simon
What the hell was that? Have Paula and Simon ever actually kissed another person before? I guess when you're practicing on Ryan Seacrest, your technique is bound to be a little poor, but God. That was painful to watch.
Most improved: Kimberley Locke's wardrobe
Finally, finally, my telepathic powers have been able to communicate the perfect wardrobe advice to Kimberley Locke. She had been getting close for weeks, but she finally got it right last night during her performance of Somewhere Over the Rainbow: low-cut shirt to show off the cleavage, fitted jacket to accentuate the hourglass shape yet cover up the booty, and wide-legged trouser to minimize the hips. Although what was up with that huge freaking necklace? I guess no one can be perfect.
Best preview for next season: The Bachelor
You know, the one where I become America's Sweetheart and ultimately win the heart of Bob. What, you didn't see that? You must have been in the other room.
Best blog readers: You guys
Yes, it's cheesy, but yes, I'm giving you all an award. You have all been great, faithful readers throughout the duration of this reality season--posting comments, linking to me on your blog and just generally increasing that little number at the bottom of the screen. Although the cycle of good reality shows has run its course and another cycle of bad reality shows is coming up (save the new season of the Amazing Race--yaaay!) and I've decided to take a much-needed break from my crippling reality-TV addiction, I hope you'll stick around. (Plus, you all know how quick these cycles move--we'll be back into the good reality shows in like three weeks.)
With the week-long finale of American Idol (of which I watched approximately 3 minutes...but what a great 3 minutes) mercifully coming to an end and Jen and Andrew finally getting to begin their life of deluding themselves that they've formed a lasting relationship until their inevitable breakup on an ABC-televised special, I thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the end of my Wednesday-night marathon reality-TV-watching sessions by giving out a few awards. So without further ado...
Best runner-up: Clay Aiken
True, Clay didn't really have reason to be upset that he didn't win since Clive Davis pretty much told everyone that regardless of who won, RCA was planning to not only produce both of the finalists' albums but also release them on the same day. But he still took it like a champ. Although, come to think of it, he did kind of hog Ruben's spotlight in the aftermath. But Ruben is a man of few words, and someone has to fill those gaping silences--better Clay than Ryan Seacrest. And it's not like he even comes close to our winner for...
Worst runner-up: Kirsten
Real shocker here. It's like she's trying to see how many times she can get Andrew to tell her he doesn't love her on national TV. Go away, Kirsten! I swear, if I have to, like, hear you, like, speak, like, one more time, I'm gonna, like, gouge my eyeballs out!
Best kiss: Tim and Nicole
Awwwww. That was so sweet, in a junior-prom kind of way. It's best to try and forget the fact that these two are in college, and it shouldn't take them 5 freaking weeks to kiss each other for the first time. That's what alcohol is for, sillies!
Worst kiss: Paula and Simon
What the hell was that? Have Paula and Simon ever actually kissed another person before? I guess when you're practicing on Ryan Seacrest, your technique is bound to be a little poor, but God. That was painful to watch.
Most improved: Kimberley Locke's wardrobe
Finally, finally, my telepathic powers have been able to communicate the perfect wardrobe advice to Kimberley Locke. She had been getting close for weeks, but she finally got it right last night during her performance of Somewhere Over the Rainbow: low-cut shirt to show off the cleavage, fitted jacket to accentuate the hourglass shape yet cover up the booty, and wide-legged trouser to minimize the hips. Although what was up with that huge freaking necklace? I guess no one can be perfect.
Best preview for next season: The Bachelor
You know, the one where I become America's Sweetheart and ultimately win the heart of Bob. What, you didn't see that? You must have been in the other room.
Best blog readers: You guys
Yes, it's cheesy, but yes, I'm giving you all an award. You have all been great, faithful readers throughout the duration of this reality season--posting comments, linking to me on your blog and just generally increasing that little number at the bottom of the screen. Although the cycle of good reality shows has run its course and another cycle of bad reality shows is coming up (save the new season of the Amazing Race--yaaay!) and I've decided to take a much-needed break from my crippling reality-TV addiction, I hope you'll stick around. (Plus, you all know how quick these cycles move--we'll be back into the good reality shows in like three weeks.)
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]