Friday, March 21, 2003
Hate...
Those of you who have pledged your support for Operation Down With Julia might be interested in this. Apparently you can buy stock in Julia's imminent failure, as well as the failure or success of some other Idol contestants.
I don't know much about futures trading, but it seems to me that it's really not worth it since shares of Julia's failure are currently selling at $99, and the maximum payoff is only $100. Unless you have tons of money to throw away, the payoff is not likely to be very big. Of course, the fact that the futures market is so certain of Julia's downfall makes me even more convinced that her days of bad singing and even worse fashion are numbered, even if by some miracle Operation Down With Julia is not a success.
...and Marriage
Doug and Holly: Will you two please just get married? Before you kill me for saying that, let me just say that I know how you feel, as people used to say the same thing to me and the gay ex-boyfriend all the time. However, that situation was quite different. For one thing, neither of you are gay. And for another, there is much more at stake here. I am referring, of course, to Kate's bet with the Royer that two FIG members will marry each other within 10 years. If Kate wins the bet, the Royer has to buy her (and a friend, i.e. me) dinner. With all the FIG members getting married to non-FIG members lately (Kristen, Adrian, Krithika), our chances of winning are severely dwindling.
As a last resort, Kate and I are prepared to drive to Vermont, where we can legally marry each other, but I feel that this option really isn't necessary. You two have both admitted that marriage wouldn't be half bad (and in doing so, proved yourselves to be far more mature people than me), and besides, you get along better than most actual couples that I know. I mean, Doug has offered to give up his dream of buying a Resident Evil movie poster (and during Milla Month, no less) simply because Holly is inexplicably and incredibly frightened by zombies. There have been marriages built on less.
So come on. Are you really going to drive Kate and me to lesbianism? Do us, and all of the lesbians worldwide who probably would not look kindly on us for becoming lesbians just to get a free dinner out of the Royer, a favor. Get married, if only so you can register for gifts.
OK, feel free to kill me now.
Those of you who have pledged your support for Operation Down With Julia might be interested in this. Apparently you can buy stock in Julia's imminent failure, as well as the failure or success of some other Idol contestants.
I don't know much about futures trading, but it seems to me that it's really not worth it since shares of Julia's failure are currently selling at $99, and the maximum payoff is only $100. Unless you have tons of money to throw away, the payoff is not likely to be very big. Of course, the fact that the futures market is so certain of Julia's downfall makes me even more convinced that her days of bad singing and even worse fashion are numbered, even if by some miracle Operation Down With Julia is not a success.
...and Marriage
Doug and Holly: Will you two please just get married? Before you kill me for saying that, let me just say that I know how you feel, as people used to say the same thing to me and the gay ex-boyfriend all the time. However, that situation was quite different. For one thing, neither of you are gay. And for another, there is much more at stake here. I am referring, of course, to Kate's bet with the Royer that two FIG members will marry each other within 10 years. If Kate wins the bet, the Royer has to buy her (and a friend, i.e. me) dinner. With all the FIG members getting married to non-FIG members lately (Kristen, Adrian, Krithika), our chances of winning are severely dwindling.
As a last resort, Kate and I are prepared to drive to Vermont, where we can legally marry each other, but I feel that this option really isn't necessary. You two have both admitted that marriage wouldn't be half bad (and in doing so, proved yourselves to be far more mature people than me), and besides, you get along better than most actual couples that I know. I mean, Doug has offered to give up his dream of buying a Resident Evil movie poster (and during Milla Month, no less) simply because Holly is inexplicably and incredibly frightened by zombies. There have been marriages built on less.
So come on. Are you really going to drive Kate and me to lesbianism? Do us, and all of the lesbians worldwide who probably would not look kindly on us for becoming lesbians just to get a free dinner out of the Royer, a favor. Get married, if only so you can register for gifts.
OK, feel free to kill me now.
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