Thursday, October 03, 2002
Take that, Ed!
So I read a Q&A with Ed Needham, the new managing editor of Rolling Stone, in the August issue of Folio, in which he says that he would be embarassed if anyone ever caught him reading Esquire.
Well, guess what, Ed? I'd be embarassed if anyone ever caught me reading Rolling Stone! And maybe if RS had just an ounce of the journalistic prowess Esquire does, people wouldn't go around talking about how much it sucks. I will not be renewing my subscription. (Not that I was going to renew it anyway, but still. In fact, the only reason why I renewed last year is because I think Rob Sheffield is one of the funniest people on Earth and I am totally in love with him. Rob, if you're reading, this rant directed toward Rolling Stone is in no way aimed at you, and in fact, I thought they were bastards for yanking your column. You should really go work for Esquire.)
I simply cannot stand to hear Esquire dissed by magazines that are so far inferior. People at Elle and GQ both dissed Esquire when we visited their offices in New York, and for that reason, and also for the reason that they're not really that good, I will never subscribe to Elle or GQ. I nearly cried when I found out that Michael Paterniti had left Esquire for GQ this past winter. And just because they offered him more money. Have you no soul, Michael Paterniti?
Here's another magazine I will never subscribe to again: Vanity Fair. The useless celebrity interviews; boring, rambling historical stories that are nevertheless teased interestingly on the cover; unimaginative photos by people who are supposed to be the best of the best (side tangent: What is so great about Annie Leibovitz? Her only talent, as far as I can tell, is being able to get a bunch of famous people to stand still in one room.); and the mountain of heavy-paper-stock ads, blow-in cards and other things that make it impossible to actually turn the pages of the magazine: these are not the reasons why I will never again subscribe to Vanity Fair.
The reason is that, as some of you may know, I have been engaged in a battle with the Vanity Fair subscription department for more than a year. It all started when I subscribed in April of 2001, then realized that I did not have enough money to pay my bill. Still, VF was nice enough to send me my April and May issues. However, when I finally did get enough money to pay in June, they responded by refusing to send me my June issue with J.Lo on the cover. I did receive issues through the rest of the summer and fall, so I thought things were fine. But in December, no issue with Brad Pitt on the cover. I did get the Tom Cruise issue in January, but then the issues stopped coming altogether. I decided not to investigate because, for the reasons listed above, I did not really feel it was worth it.
The one valuable thing I did get from my VF subscription was an offer to get a year of The New Yorker for $30. It was for this reason that I decided to buy a subscription for Nikki for her birthday in April 2002. Things have been going smoothly until recently, when I inexplicably received the October issue with Madonna on the cover. Apparently VF now thinks that I have a subscription that ends in December 2002 because they have been sending me approximately 4 renewal notices a week. Today I actually received TWO renewal notices from them in the mail. How, I ask, is it possible to receive two renewal notices in one day for a magazine that one does not even subscribe to in the first place?
Vanity Fair, I wash my hands of you. I will not subscribe to your magazine again, nor will I buy gift subscriptions for my friends. In fact, I will not even buy it on the newsstand for fear that you will somehow think this means I have a subscription. I know, however, that you will probably still send me renewal notices for AS LONG AS I LIVE.
So I read a Q&A with Ed Needham, the new managing editor of Rolling Stone, in the August issue of Folio, in which he says that he would be embarassed if anyone ever caught him reading Esquire.
Well, guess what, Ed? I'd be embarassed if anyone ever caught me reading Rolling Stone! And maybe if RS had just an ounce of the journalistic prowess Esquire does, people wouldn't go around talking about how much it sucks. I will not be renewing my subscription. (Not that I was going to renew it anyway, but still. In fact, the only reason why I renewed last year is because I think Rob Sheffield is one of the funniest people on Earth and I am totally in love with him. Rob, if you're reading, this rant directed toward Rolling Stone is in no way aimed at you, and in fact, I thought they were bastards for yanking your column. You should really go work for Esquire.)
I simply cannot stand to hear Esquire dissed by magazines that are so far inferior. People at Elle and GQ both dissed Esquire when we visited their offices in New York, and for that reason, and also for the reason that they're not really that good, I will never subscribe to Elle or GQ. I nearly cried when I found out that Michael Paterniti had left Esquire for GQ this past winter. And just because they offered him more money. Have you no soul, Michael Paterniti?
Here's another magazine I will never subscribe to again: Vanity Fair. The useless celebrity interviews; boring, rambling historical stories that are nevertheless teased interestingly on the cover; unimaginative photos by people who are supposed to be the best of the best (side tangent: What is so great about Annie Leibovitz? Her only talent, as far as I can tell, is being able to get a bunch of famous people to stand still in one room.); and the mountain of heavy-paper-stock ads, blow-in cards and other things that make it impossible to actually turn the pages of the magazine: these are not the reasons why I will never again subscribe to Vanity Fair.
The reason is that, as some of you may know, I have been engaged in a battle with the Vanity Fair subscription department for more than a year. It all started when I subscribed in April of 2001, then realized that I did not have enough money to pay my bill. Still, VF was nice enough to send me my April and May issues. However, when I finally did get enough money to pay in June, they responded by refusing to send me my June issue with J.Lo on the cover. I did receive issues through the rest of the summer and fall, so I thought things were fine. But in December, no issue with Brad Pitt on the cover. I did get the Tom Cruise issue in January, but then the issues stopped coming altogether. I decided not to investigate because, for the reasons listed above, I did not really feel it was worth it.
The one valuable thing I did get from my VF subscription was an offer to get a year of The New Yorker for $30. It was for this reason that I decided to buy a subscription for Nikki for her birthday in April 2002. Things have been going smoothly until recently, when I inexplicably received the October issue with Madonna on the cover. Apparently VF now thinks that I have a subscription that ends in December 2002 because they have been sending me approximately 4 renewal notices a week. Today I actually received TWO renewal notices from them in the mail. How, I ask, is it possible to receive two renewal notices in one day for a magazine that one does not even subscribe to in the first place?
Vanity Fair, I wash my hands of you. I will not subscribe to your magazine again, nor will I buy gift subscriptions for my friends. In fact, I will not even buy it on the newsstand for fear that you will somehow think this means I have a subscription. I know, however, that you will probably still send me renewal notices for AS LONG AS I LIVE.
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