Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I heart Rob Sheffield
It's no secret that I've had a pretty huge crush on Rolling Stone writer Rob Sheffield for a while now. His column was the only thing that kept me subscribing to Rolling Stone for years after the rest of the magazine failed to hold my interest. I even proposed marriage to him once, although he, along with George Clooney, Colin Firth, et al never responded. (Although looking back now, some of these non-responses were blessings in disguise. Ralph Fiennes? Ryan Adams? Both kind of skeezy now. And Hugh Grant was technically kind of skeezy at the time of the proposal, but he's even skeezier now. And let's not even address the whole Clay Aiken thing, except to say that I have always had a soft spot for the gays.)
Anyway. Given my long-abiding love for Rob Sheffield, and the fact that I tend to fall in love with memoir writers anyway (see also: Obama, Barack), I realized that it was going to be somewhat difficult not to fall even more hopelessly in love with him while reading his memoir Love Is a Mix Tape. Sure, the fact that the book is all about his love for his late wife did give me pause--at least, until I discovered two very important pieces of information about Rob Sheffield last night:
1. He hates it when people interrupt stuff (dinner, a conversation) to answer the phone.
2. He hates the word "utilize."
I also do not believe in rushing to answer the phone if you're doing something else (isn't that what voicemail is for?) and think the word "utilize" should be banned from the English language. Clearly, this is meant to be. The only problem is, I'm afraid that if Rob Sheffield were to look at the cumulative collection of mix tapes and CDs I have created over the past 15 years or so, he would deem me very uncool indeed. Alas.
I don't think it's going to work out with me and Barack Obama, either. But at least I still have Clooney. If he ever writes a memoir, I'm a goner.
It's no secret that I've had a pretty huge crush on Rolling Stone writer Rob Sheffield for a while now. His column was the only thing that kept me subscribing to Rolling Stone for years after the rest of the magazine failed to hold my interest. I even proposed marriage to him once, although he, along with George Clooney, Colin Firth, et al never responded. (Although looking back now, some of these non-responses were blessings in disguise. Ralph Fiennes? Ryan Adams? Both kind of skeezy now. And Hugh Grant was technically kind of skeezy at the time of the proposal, but he's even skeezier now. And let's not even address the whole Clay Aiken thing, except to say that I have always had a soft spot for the gays.)
Anyway. Given my long-abiding love for Rob Sheffield, and the fact that I tend to fall in love with memoir writers anyway (see also: Obama, Barack), I realized that it was going to be somewhat difficult not to fall even more hopelessly in love with him while reading his memoir Love Is a Mix Tape. Sure, the fact that the book is all about his love for his late wife did give me pause--at least, until I discovered two very important pieces of information about Rob Sheffield last night:
1. He hates it when people interrupt stuff (dinner, a conversation) to answer the phone.
2. He hates the word "utilize."
I also do not believe in rushing to answer the phone if you're doing something else (isn't that what voicemail is for?) and think the word "utilize" should be banned from the English language. Clearly, this is meant to be. The only problem is, I'm afraid that if Rob Sheffield were to look at the cumulative collection of mix tapes and CDs I have created over the past 15 years or so, he would deem me very uncool indeed. Alas.
I don't think it's going to work out with me and Barack Obama, either. But at least I still have Clooney. If he ever writes a memoir, I'm a goner.
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