Friday, October 31, 2003
It's Halloween, and I am very scared
Yesterday, one of my co-workers asked me what I was going to be for Halloween. My response? "Really freaking stressed out."
That's because today is moving day. Actually, the term "day" is a little too liberal. The fact of the matter is, I have exactly five hours in which to move the majority of my stuff out of my old apartment and into my new apartment nine blocks away. Needless to say, for the past week or so, I have been compiling a list in my head of things that could possibly go wrong. Here is that list, in order of how screwed I'll be if these things actually happen.
1. The movers get there really, really late or don't show up at all. I have hired movers to help me with the stuff that I can't get by myself--desk, dresser, bed, etc. My friend Terri recommended Apartment Movers because they have pretty good rates. Only I can't tell if the Apartment Movers I've hired here in Birmingham is actually affiliated with the Apartment Movers chain, because it is also called Bob's Moving Company. Something about "Bob's Moving Company" just does not instill a lot of faith in me, but I couldn't pass up the price. Plus, they're charging me the exact same amount that they charged Terri when she moved out of her apartment in Georgia, so we figure it must be legit. But if for some reason Bob and his Moving Company don't show up, I'm so screwed. It's too late to get new movers, and even if I could rent a U-Haul at the last minute, I have no one to actually help me get all the stuff out of my apartment and into the U-Haul. Basically, I would have to beg and cry until my current landlords agree to let me have the rest of the weekend to work something out. Believe me, I am not above begging and crying at this point, but I really hope it doesn't come to that.
2. The apartment I am to move into has not been vacated. This is a real possibility, as the guy who lives in the apartment now does not technically live there. He's living with his girlfriend and just keeping his stuff there until his lease expires. The last time I talked to my landlord (the middle of last week), the stuff was still in the apartment. The landlord said he would keep checking to see if the stuff had been moved out and asked me to call him on Monday to see what the status of the apartment was. So I did. And after three messages, he still has not called me back. So, to try to secure my own peace of mind, I was forced to resort to drastic measures. I took my flashlight over to the new apartment and peered in the windows to see if it had been emptied yet. The good news: The bed and most of the other stuff in the bedroom (the only window I could see in) was gone. The bad news: There was some stuff (a TV, a box and some CDs) still in the bedroom. (The other bad news: I am now officially a stalker. But I'm not stalking an actual person, just an apartment, so that's totally different.) Hopefully either the guy is coming back this morning to get this stuff or he's just bequeathing it to me. Or he's just going to leave it there until the last possible second, and my landlord will tell me I can't move my stuff in until everything is out of the apartment. In which case I will be screwed.
3. The apartment will be empty, but the landlord will not be there to meet me and the movers, at the time he said he would. Obviously, if the landlord is not there, it's pretty much impossible to track him down. Therefore, I am prepared to have the movers leave my stuff in the hallway, where I will sit with it until I can get the landlord to let me into the apartment. However, this situation would only exacerbate my next worry, which is...
4. I won't be able to get all of the stuff out of my old apartment in time to turn in my key by 5:00. If everything operates smoothly and none of the aforementioned situations present themselves, this shouldn't be a problem. However, if any little thing in my well-laid plan goes awry, I am--you guessed it--screwed.
So if I'm not back to blogging in a few days, you will know that one of the following things has happened:
a) I have keeled over from some stress-related condition (heart attack or similar).
b) I have been forced to try and move my furniture by myself and have consequently been trapped under something heavy.
c) I have killed one or more of the following: my old landlord, my new landlord, the movers, the guy who refuses to move out of my new apartment; and I have been arrested and taken to jail.
Good thoughts, prayers, spells, incantations, meditations or whatever you prefer would be greatly appreciated during this trying time. If I survive this day, I'll let you know how it turned out.
Yesterday, one of my co-workers asked me what I was going to be for Halloween. My response? "Really freaking stressed out."
That's because today is moving day. Actually, the term "day" is a little too liberal. The fact of the matter is, I have exactly five hours in which to move the majority of my stuff out of my old apartment and into my new apartment nine blocks away. Needless to say, for the past week or so, I have been compiling a list in my head of things that could possibly go wrong. Here is that list, in order of how screwed I'll be if these things actually happen.
1. The movers get there really, really late or don't show up at all. I have hired movers to help me with the stuff that I can't get by myself--desk, dresser, bed, etc. My friend Terri recommended Apartment Movers because they have pretty good rates. Only I can't tell if the Apartment Movers I've hired here in Birmingham is actually affiliated with the Apartment Movers chain, because it is also called Bob's Moving Company. Something about "Bob's Moving Company" just does not instill a lot of faith in me, but I couldn't pass up the price. Plus, they're charging me the exact same amount that they charged Terri when she moved out of her apartment in Georgia, so we figure it must be legit. But if for some reason Bob and his Moving Company don't show up, I'm so screwed. It's too late to get new movers, and even if I could rent a U-Haul at the last minute, I have no one to actually help me get all the stuff out of my apartment and into the U-Haul. Basically, I would have to beg and cry until my current landlords agree to let me have the rest of the weekend to work something out. Believe me, I am not above begging and crying at this point, but I really hope it doesn't come to that.
2. The apartment I am to move into has not been vacated. This is a real possibility, as the guy who lives in the apartment now does not technically live there. He's living with his girlfriend and just keeping his stuff there until his lease expires. The last time I talked to my landlord (the middle of last week), the stuff was still in the apartment. The landlord said he would keep checking to see if the stuff had been moved out and asked me to call him on Monday to see what the status of the apartment was. So I did. And after three messages, he still has not called me back. So, to try to secure my own peace of mind, I was forced to resort to drastic measures. I took my flashlight over to the new apartment and peered in the windows to see if it had been emptied yet. The good news: The bed and most of the other stuff in the bedroom (the only window I could see in) was gone. The bad news: There was some stuff (a TV, a box and some CDs) still in the bedroom. (The other bad news: I am now officially a stalker. But I'm not stalking an actual person, just an apartment, so that's totally different.) Hopefully either the guy is coming back this morning to get this stuff or he's just bequeathing it to me. Or he's just going to leave it there until the last possible second, and my landlord will tell me I can't move my stuff in until everything is out of the apartment. In which case I will be screwed.
3. The apartment will be empty, but the landlord will not be there to meet me and the movers, at the time he said he would. Obviously, if the landlord is not there, it's pretty much impossible to track him down. Therefore, I am prepared to have the movers leave my stuff in the hallway, where I will sit with it until I can get the landlord to let me into the apartment. However, this situation would only exacerbate my next worry, which is...
4. I won't be able to get all of the stuff out of my old apartment in time to turn in my key by 5:00. If everything operates smoothly and none of the aforementioned situations present themselves, this shouldn't be a problem. However, if any little thing in my well-laid plan goes awry, I am--you guessed it--screwed.
So if I'm not back to blogging in a few days, you will know that one of the following things has happened:
a) I have keeled over from some stress-related condition (heart attack or similar).
b) I have been forced to try and move my furniture by myself and have consequently been trapped under something heavy.
c) I have killed one or more of the following: my old landlord, my new landlord, the movers, the guy who refuses to move out of my new apartment; and I have been arrested and taken to jail.
Good thoughts, prayers, spells, incantations, meditations or whatever you prefer would be greatly appreciated during this trying time. If I survive this day, I'll let you know how it turned out.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Whaaaaaa?
See, this is why I don't bet on reality TV. Because I always lose. But last night's Bachelor was different from any other reality-TV bet I've lost before. Usually, I make my predictions a week in advance and end up changing my mind as I watch the actual episode. But throughout last night's episode, I was convinced that my prediction that Mary would get the boot was correct. Bob seemed uncomfortable around her family (mostly because her dad didn't speak any English and the rest of the family didn't seem to want to translate) and just a little freaked out by her rapidly ticking biological clock. The way I see it, there can be only three reasons why Bob might possibly have kept Mary around:
1. Bob is just as obsessively in love with Mary as she is with him and shares her desire to start popping out babies as fast as humanly possible.
2. Figuring that Kelly Jo is pretty much going to win, Bob (being the man-whore he is) wanted to choose the two women who were most likely to sleep with him to go on the overnight dates--and we all know Mary is much more likely to put out than Meredith would have been. (After all, sleeping with Bob will increase her chances to have a baby!)
3. Bob is crazy.
Of all the girls, I really didn't expect Meredith to be eliminated. It was indeed The Most Shocking! Rose Ceremony! Ever! Well, not including that one in Season 2 where a couple of the girls got up and told Aaron they just weren't into him. That was great!
Anyway. If Kelly Jo doesn't win, I will be supremely shocked. I mean, she has to win. She's the female Bob, and we all know how much Bob loves himself. In fact, I would go so far as to bet everything I own on Kelly Jo emerging victorious, but considering my track record, that might not be the best idea.
See, this is why I don't bet on reality TV. Because I always lose. But last night's Bachelor was different from any other reality-TV bet I've lost before. Usually, I make my predictions a week in advance and end up changing my mind as I watch the actual episode. But throughout last night's episode, I was convinced that my prediction that Mary would get the boot was correct. Bob seemed uncomfortable around her family (mostly because her dad didn't speak any English and the rest of the family didn't seem to want to translate) and just a little freaked out by her rapidly ticking biological clock. The way I see it, there can be only three reasons why Bob might possibly have kept Mary around:
1. Bob is just as obsessively in love with Mary as she is with him and shares her desire to start popping out babies as fast as humanly possible.
2. Figuring that Kelly Jo is pretty much going to win, Bob (being the man-whore he is) wanted to choose the two women who were most likely to sleep with him to go on the overnight dates--and we all know Mary is much more likely to put out than Meredith would have been. (After all, sleeping with Bob will increase her chances to have a baby!)
3. Bob is crazy.
Of all the girls, I really didn't expect Meredith to be eliminated. It was indeed The Most Shocking! Rose Ceremony! Ever! Well, not including that one in Season 2 where a couple of the girls got up and told Aaron they just weren't into him. That was great!
Anyway. If Kelly Jo doesn't win, I will be supremely shocked. I mean, she has to win. She's the female Bob, and we all know how much Bob loves himself. In fact, I would go so far as to bet everything I own on Kelly Jo emerging victorious, but considering my track record, that might not be the best idea.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Reality Quote of the Week
It's been a month since my cable got disconnected, and honestly, I don't really miss it that much. Sure, that first weekend was hard (what with the freaking out about the jail threat and all), and sometimes I do get a little wistful when I hear others talking about Newlyweds or The Real World or The Joe Schmo Show. However, he networks have helped me through this trying time by providing some quality reality (and non-reality!) programming, such as The Next Joe Millionaire, from which we get this week's most awesome quote. (And yes, I realize the week is not over yet--sadly--but I highly doubt anything we hear on The Bachelor tonight is going to come close to topping this.)
"I'm cussing like a sailor, I'm not wearing any underwear, and I'm drinking way too much champagne." --Tereza
(Side note for all you former mag majors: Wouldn't it be great if Ranly illustrated one of his comma rules with this sentence?)
It's been a month since my cable got disconnected, and honestly, I don't really miss it that much. Sure, that first weekend was hard (what with the freaking out about the jail threat and all), and sometimes I do get a little wistful when I hear others talking about Newlyweds or The Real World or The Joe Schmo Show. However, he networks have helped me through this trying time by providing some quality reality (and non-reality!) programming, such as The Next Joe Millionaire, from which we get this week's most awesome quote. (And yes, I realize the week is not over yet--sadly--but I highly doubt anything we hear on The Bachelor tonight is going to come close to topping this.)
"I'm cussing like a sailor, I'm not wearing any underwear, and I'm drinking way too much champagne." --Tereza
(Side note for all you former mag majors: Wouldn't it be great if Ranly illustrated one of his comma rules with this sentence?)
Monday, October 27, 2003
I just read in my hometown newspaper that a girl I used to baby-sit was the freshman attendant for high school homecoming. And she was the middle child! The oldest is probably at least a senior by now. God, I feel old. It doesn't help matters any that the homecoming flower girl was my friend John's daughter. I don't just feel old. I am old. Sigh.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Who needs continuity when you've got ratings?
Last night on Friends, the gang celebrated baby Emma's first birthday. If you watched this episode (like I did), you were probably thinking one of three things:
1. Awwwww!
2. It's about damn time they actually worked this child into a plot instead of just completely ignoring her existence.
3. Dude, that child was born in May. It's October. Her first birthday came and went six months ago, and they're just now getting around to celebrating it?!
If you're most people, you were probably thinking #1. If you're Kate, you were probably thinking #2. But if you were me, you would have been thinking #3. In fact, you would have been thinking it every time Rachel went on and on about how important it is to celebrate Emma's birthday on the actual day of her birth. If you were me, you'd be yelling at the TV, "Rachel, you are the worst mother in the entire world if you can't even remember the date of your child's birth within six months of said date! Actually, the people who wrote this episode are the worst writers in the world if they can't even remember what month it was when one of their main characters freaking GAVE BIRTH!"
The lack of continuity on Friends has bugged me for a while, ever since last season when they "re-introduced" (I use that term loosely) Jon Lovitz's character from Season 1, and everyone acted like they'd never even met him before. Look, if this guy was so memorable that I can recall him nine years later, surely a similar spark of recognition would have flared in Rachel when she was SET UP ON A BLIND DATE WITH HIM. God.
Anyway. The other day, I stumbled upon the most brilliant idea for the series finale of Friends. Since it's pretty obvious that the writers will probably fuck it up beyond all recognition, I would like to now offer them this brilliant suggestion in hopes that they'll take it and allow the show to go out with at least a fraction of the humor it once had.
We all know that this season is leading up to the resolution of the Big Friends Love Triangle. Who will Rachel end up with? And I have come up with the most brilliant answer to this question. It is at the same time unexpected, humorous and satisfying. Are you ready for this?
Gunther.
Gunther! It's absolutely perfect. True, the Friends writers suck at continuity, but there is one storyline that they've managed to keep going, more or less, for the entire ten years, and that's Gunther's crush on Rachel. Everyone's expecting her to end up with either Ross or Joey, and with so many people planted firmly in either camp, a choice between the two is guaranteed to anger at least half of the audience. That's why Gunther is so perfect! It's not that anyone really wants Rachel to end up with him, but true Friends fans could at least appreciate the comedic genius of such a solution. Plus, it's been ten years! Gunther deserves a break already!
If this were Seinfeld, I have no doubt that they'd resolve the situation in this manner. But this is not Seinfeld, it's Friends, and they'll probably do something sappy and maudlin, and it'll suck. But they won't be able to say I didn't give them this great idea.
Last night on Friends, the gang celebrated baby Emma's first birthday. If you watched this episode (like I did), you were probably thinking one of three things:
1. Awwwww!
2. It's about damn time they actually worked this child into a plot instead of just completely ignoring her existence.
3. Dude, that child was born in May. It's October. Her first birthday came and went six months ago, and they're just now getting around to celebrating it?!
If you're most people, you were probably thinking #1. If you're Kate, you were probably thinking #2. But if you were me, you would have been thinking #3. In fact, you would have been thinking it every time Rachel went on and on about how important it is to celebrate Emma's birthday on the actual day of her birth. If you were me, you'd be yelling at the TV, "Rachel, you are the worst mother in the entire world if you can't even remember the date of your child's birth within six months of said date! Actually, the people who wrote this episode are the worst writers in the world if they can't even remember what month it was when one of their main characters freaking GAVE BIRTH!"
The lack of continuity on Friends has bugged me for a while, ever since last season when they "re-introduced" (I use that term loosely) Jon Lovitz's character from Season 1, and everyone acted like they'd never even met him before. Look, if this guy was so memorable that I can recall him nine years later, surely a similar spark of recognition would have flared in Rachel when she was SET UP ON A BLIND DATE WITH HIM. God.
Anyway. The other day, I stumbled upon the most brilliant idea for the series finale of Friends. Since it's pretty obvious that the writers will probably fuck it up beyond all recognition, I would like to now offer them this brilliant suggestion in hopes that they'll take it and allow the show to go out with at least a fraction of the humor it once had.
We all know that this season is leading up to the resolution of the Big Friends Love Triangle. Who will Rachel end up with? And I have come up with the most brilliant answer to this question. It is at the same time unexpected, humorous and satisfying. Are you ready for this?
Gunther.
Gunther! It's absolutely perfect. True, the Friends writers suck at continuity, but there is one storyline that they've managed to keep going, more or less, for the entire ten years, and that's Gunther's crush on Rachel. Everyone's expecting her to end up with either Ross or Joey, and with so many people planted firmly in either camp, a choice between the two is guaranteed to anger at least half of the audience. That's why Gunther is so perfect! It's not that anyone really wants Rachel to end up with him, but true Friends fans could at least appreciate the comedic genius of such a solution. Plus, it's been ten years! Gunther deserves a break already!
If this were Seinfeld, I have no doubt that they'd resolve the situation in this manner. But this is not Seinfeld, it's Friends, and they'll probably do something sappy and maudlin, and it'll suck. But they won't be able to say I didn't give them this great idea.
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Get your '90s nostalgia here
So many people here in our little blogging community have expressed support for my idea for an I Love the '90s special that it got me thinking. Why don't we all get together at some central location (CoMo, perhaps? We could visit The District!) and film our own version of I Love the '90s, with us as commentators? Maybe we could even get Hal Sparks and Michael Ian Black to pitch in because, as Lyndsay has pointed out, they really were the best ones on the original VH1 show. Then we could send our tape to VH1 and see if they'll play it. And then we'd all be famous! OK, not really that famous. But we'd be at least as famous as Hal Sparks and Michael Ian Black, and that's good enough for me.
So here are my contributions to the project:
Remember back in the '90s when...
-No Doubt was considered "ska." And so were a bunch of other bands, like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, who, one can only assume, have since fallen off the face of the earth.
-The biggest political ordeal our country was facing involved a cigar and a stain on a GAP dress.
-Reality TV was a shocking phenomenon restricted only to MTV.
-People only cared about Gwyneth Paltrow because of who she was dating.
-People only cared about Jennifer Aniston because she was on a hit TV show.
-Brenda, Kelly and Dylan were TV's most-talked-about love triangle.
-Hypercolor shirts gave everyone an excuse to touch the person they had a crush on.
-Winona Ryder was the good girl who dated bad boys instead of the bad girl who stole things from Saks.
-Shania Twain was considered a pioneer in the whole country/pop crossover phenomenon.
-Britney Spears was a Mouseketeer...not to mention an A cup.
-Until the infamous bathroom incident, people harbored this quaint little notion that George Michael was straight. Honestly, people! Did you just completely miss Wham!?
-The concept of Madonna and Michael Jackson spawning young was somewhat shocking.
-Alicia Silverstone and Claire Danes were the It Girls, while Jennifer Lopez was still just a Fly Girl.
So many people here in our little blogging community have expressed support for my idea for an I Love the '90s special that it got me thinking. Why don't we all get together at some central location (CoMo, perhaps? We could visit The District!) and film our own version of I Love the '90s, with us as commentators? Maybe we could even get Hal Sparks and Michael Ian Black to pitch in because, as Lyndsay has pointed out, they really were the best ones on the original VH1 show. Then we could send our tape to VH1 and see if they'll play it. And then we'd all be famous! OK, not really that famous. But we'd be at least as famous as Hal Sparks and Michael Ian Black, and that's good enough for me.
So here are my contributions to the project:
Remember back in the '90s when...
-No Doubt was considered "ska." And so were a bunch of other bands, like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, who, one can only assume, have since fallen off the face of the earth.
-The biggest political ordeal our country was facing involved a cigar and a stain on a GAP dress.
-Reality TV was a shocking phenomenon restricted only to MTV.
-People only cared about Gwyneth Paltrow because of who she was dating.
-People only cared about Jennifer Aniston because she was on a hit TV show.
-Brenda, Kelly and Dylan were TV's most-talked-about love triangle.
-Hypercolor shirts gave everyone an excuse to touch the person they had a crush on.
-Winona Ryder was the good girl who dated bad boys instead of the bad girl who stole things from Saks.
-Shania Twain was considered a pioneer in the whole country/pop crossover phenomenon.
-Britney Spears was a Mouseketeer...not to mention an A cup.
-Until the infamous bathroom incident, people harbored this quaint little notion that George Michael was straight. Honestly, people! Did you just completely miss Wham!?
-The concept of Madonna and Michael Jackson spawning young was somewhat shocking.
-Alicia Silverstone and Claire Danes were the It Girls, while Jennifer Lopez was still just a Fly Girl.
Three out of four ain't bad
So I got one of my Bachelor predictions wrong. So what? I still got three right. I can't be perfect all the time, you know!
My early prediction for next week: Mary's so gone. She definitely won't be in the final two, and I can't really see her in the final three, either. She's like the Christina of this season. Only, you know, not so aggressive and intimidating. And, uh...leathery. But it's pretty obvious that her biological clock is ticking away like a freaking time bomb. (Seriously, if she were to try to do an interview without mentioning how much she wants to have children, I think she might spontaneously combust.) So far, she's managed to sort of hide her complete and utter desperation when she's around Bob. But next week, I have a feeling that it's going to come roaring out with a Christina-like vengance, and then she'll be so gone.
I used to like Estella, but then she started talking like Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut. Now I sort of hate her. She could potentially be the next one to go, because she did make the unforgivable mistake of (gasp!) showing some sort of negative emotion. Estella! You know they don't tolerate that at The Bachelor! Because the best way to find out if you're ready for marriage with someone is to spend six weeks going on a bunch of completely implausible "fantasy" dates with a smile plastered on your face the entire time even though you might be upset because, you know, your Nana died or everyone in the house hates you. Because that's what marriage is about, people! Fantasy dates, hot tubs and lots and lots of smiling and laughing! Oh, and let's not forget roses.
Meredith is definitely my favorite, because she's not a cookie-cutter Bachelor contestant, and you know how much I love the non-cookie-cutter Bachelor contestants (see Helene and Liz). Kelly Jo, on the other hand, is totally a cookie-cutter Bachelor contestant. Unlike last season, which was The Battle of Good vs. Evil, I see this season panning out much like Season 2: The Battle of Cookie-Cutter vs. Non-Cookie-Cutter. And although Non-Cookie-Cutter (Helene) triumped in Season 2, I still really think Cookie-Cutter (Kelly Jo) is going to take it this season. Only time will tell.
So I got one of my Bachelor predictions wrong. So what? I still got three right. I can't be perfect all the time, you know!
My early prediction for next week: Mary's so gone. She definitely won't be in the final two, and I can't really see her in the final three, either. She's like the Christina of this season. Only, you know, not so aggressive and intimidating. And, uh...leathery. But it's pretty obvious that her biological clock is ticking away like a freaking time bomb. (Seriously, if she were to try to do an interview without mentioning how much she wants to have children, I think she might spontaneously combust.) So far, she's managed to sort of hide her complete and utter desperation when she's around Bob. But next week, I have a feeling that it's going to come roaring out with a Christina-like vengance, and then she'll be so gone.
I used to like Estella, but then she started talking like Nicole Kidman in Eyes Wide Shut. Now I sort of hate her. She could potentially be the next one to go, because she did make the unforgivable mistake of (gasp!) showing some sort of negative emotion. Estella! You know they don't tolerate that at The Bachelor! Because the best way to find out if you're ready for marriage with someone is to spend six weeks going on a bunch of completely implausible "fantasy" dates with a smile plastered on your face the entire time even though you might be upset because, you know, your Nana died or everyone in the house hates you. Because that's what marriage is about, people! Fantasy dates, hot tubs and lots and lots of smiling and laughing! Oh, and let's not forget roses.
Meredith is definitely my favorite, because she's not a cookie-cutter Bachelor contestant, and you know how much I love the non-cookie-cutter Bachelor contestants (see Helene and Liz). Kelly Jo, on the other hand, is totally a cookie-cutter Bachelor contestant. Unlike last season, which was The Battle of Good vs. Evil, I see this season panning out much like Season 2: The Battle of Cookie-Cutter vs. Non-Cookie-Cutter. And although Non-Cookie-Cutter (Helene) triumped in Season 2, I still really think Cookie-Cutter (Kelly Jo) is going to take it this season. Only time will tell.
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Nothing else compares...
You know what's really great? Getting into your car, turning it on and hearing Coldplay. Not having to search through 6 radio stations, endure a few crap Britney Spears and Kelly Clarkson songs (or worse!), only to catch the tail end of some terrible pop remix of "Clocks." Now when I get into my car after a long, hard day of work, Chris Martin just starts singing to me. It's awesome. I love having a CD player in my car!
I think the car likes Coldplay more than it likes R.E.M., actually. But it's too late to change my car's name to Chris Martin. And besides, it would be really weird for my car to have the same last name as me. I briefly considered re-christening it "Gwyneth Paltrow's Boyfriend," but decided against it. I mean, you know at some point Gwyn and Chris are going to get engaged, then they'll be engaged for like three years, then he'll dump her and they'll have this long and painful public breakup, and then in a few months, he'll be married to some hot young starlet named Jennifer. And she'll probably go back to Ben Affleck. And then people would think I named my car after Ben Affleck, and that would just suck. I suppose if Gwyneth Paltrow starts dating Michael Stipe, I can have my cake and eat it, too, but this is probably highly unlikely, seeing as Michael Stipe is gay.
I promise, someday I will stop blogging about my new car. But that day is obviously not today. Will it be tomorrow? Stay tuned to find out.
You know what's really great? Getting into your car, turning it on and hearing Coldplay. Not having to search through 6 radio stations, endure a few crap Britney Spears and Kelly Clarkson songs (or worse!), only to catch the tail end of some terrible pop remix of "Clocks." Now when I get into my car after a long, hard day of work, Chris Martin just starts singing to me. It's awesome. I love having a CD player in my car!
I think the car likes Coldplay more than it likes R.E.M., actually. But it's too late to change my car's name to Chris Martin. And besides, it would be really weird for my car to have the same last name as me. I briefly considered re-christening it "Gwyneth Paltrow's Boyfriend," but decided against it. I mean, you know at some point Gwyn and Chris are going to get engaged, then they'll be engaged for like three years, then he'll dump her and they'll have this long and painful public breakup, and then in a few months, he'll be married to some hot young starlet named Jennifer. And she'll probably go back to Ben Affleck. And then people would think I named my car after Ben Affleck, and that would just suck. I suppose if Gwyneth Paltrow starts dating Michael Stipe, I can have my cake and eat it, too, but this is probably highly unlikely, seeing as Michael Stipe is gay.
I promise, someday I will stop blogging about my new car. But that day is obviously not today. Will it be tomorrow? Stay tuned to find out.
Monday, October 20, 2003
New cars for everyone!
Well, at least everyone in my family. Or at least all of the siblings in my family. My sister (yes, she of musical-bunny fame) also got a new car this weekend, after hers was smashed by a drunk driver while it was parked outside her boyfriend's apartment last weekend. She got a silver Grand Am that sounds very similar to Kate's, except it has four doors instead of two. It's a 2003, and it was a program car, so it already has 28,000 miles on it--but her payments are $5 a month more than mine. Woo hoo! Of course, she has things on her car (like power locks and windows, and cruise control, and probably a V6 engine) that I do not have. But still, I got a brand-new car for $5 less a month! Woo hoo!
More spelling fun with our intern
The intern's latest zany spelling interpretation is "perticular" instead of "particular." I swear to God, we gave this girl a dictionary when she started her internship! Once again, I really can't say anything because just this morning I had to ask my boss how to spell "odyssey." But that is a really hard word! And it was part of the name of a school, so they could have spelled it in some wacky way. You never know.
Insane
I'm not sure why I thought it was a good idea to buy a new car two weeks before I'm supposed to move into a new apartment. I'm losing my mind trying to coordinate a bunch of those mundane details that go along with getting really big new things. However, my new car does have a way bigger trunk than the old one (and I have yet to spill laundry detergent in it like I did in the old one), so that's a definite plus for the move. And all of the madness should be over in a couple of weeks. I just have to hang on until then.
Well, at least everyone in my family. Or at least all of the siblings in my family. My sister (yes, she of musical-bunny fame) also got a new car this weekend, after hers was smashed by a drunk driver while it was parked outside her boyfriend's apartment last weekend. She got a silver Grand Am that sounds very similar to Kate's, except it has four doors instead of two. It's a 2003, and it was a program car, so it already has 28,000 miles on it--but her payments are $5 a month more than mine. Woo hoo! Of course, she has things on her car (like power locks and windows, and cruise control, and probably a V6 engine) that I do not have. But still, I got a brand-new car for $5 less a month! Woo hoo!
More spelling fun with our intern
The intern's latest zany spelling interpretation is "perticular" instead of "particular." I swear to God, we gave this girl a dictionary when she started her internship! Once again, I really can't say anything because just this morning I had to ask my boss how to spell "odyssey." But that is a really hard word! And it was part of the name of a school, so they could have spelled it in some wacky way. You never know.
Insane
I'm not sure why I thought it was a good idea to buy a new car two weeks before I'm supposed to move into a new apartment. I'm losing my mind trying to coordinate a bunch of those mundane details that go along with getting really big new things. However, my new car does have a way bigger trunk than the old one (and I have yet to spill laundry detergent in it like I did in the old one), so that's a definite plus for the move. And all of the madness should be over in a couple of weeks. I just have to hang on until then.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
The sky is grey, the sand is grey, and my new car is grey
Yes, it's true! I do in fact have a new car, and it is grey. (Or gray, if you're not trying to be British. But I think my car is trying to be British.) It's a 2004 Toyota Corolla. I would post a picture, but I don't really know how to do that. So you'll all have to use your imaginations, or come visit me so you can see it in person. Unlike my last car, which had a cassette player that has refused to play any sort of cassette tape for more than a year, the new car has both a CD player AND a cassette player. I am way excited about this, as it means I can play both my CDs and all those crappy mix tapes I made when I was 13. Also, unlike my old car, it does not seem to have a penchant for breaking down at stoplights. I love that!
I decided right away that my new car needs a name. This is the first new car I've ever had that I didn't have to share with every other member of my family (although my parents have already asked when they get to drive it). My last car didn't have a name. I guess my family had given up the practice of naming our cars by then. (Some of the cars we had in the past included a red station wagon called Bumpity Goat, due to the fact that when test-driving it, my mother hit a bump in the road that sent my sister flying up to the ceiling; and a blue minivan that my sister and I unimaginatively named Minnie and that my grandmother insisted on calling Minnie Pearl.)
Anyway. The color of the car reminded me of the Ani DiFranco song "Grey" (from whence I took my title above). I briefly considered naming the car Ani. Very briefly. As soon as the thought popped into my head, I knew it was wrong. This car is not an Ani.
Then I considered the actual name of the color of my car, which is "Moonshadow." "Moonshadow" reminded me of two things: 1) The towel Chase sent me earlier this year, which was in a color called "Nightshadow Rhapsody," and 2) The R.E.M. song "Nightswimming." So it appeared I could either name my car after Chase, or I could name it after Michael Stipe. Seeing as it's really kind of weird to name your car after people you actually know (no offense, of course, to Chase), I decided to name my car Michael Stipe. Or Stipe, for short. Or the Stipe-mobile, if I'm feeling wacky.
I think it fits. My car is definitely a man. Not just a man, but a gay man. Not just a gay man, but a gay man I once wanted to marry. See? How perfect is this car for me?
For the first CD ever played in my new CD player, I put in Automatic for the People and played (what else?) "Nightswimming" for the car. It seemed to like it. I think I picked a good name. Of course, just because my car is named Michael Stipe, that doesn't mean it's going to be all R.E.M., all the time. Considering that I only own that one CD, that could get pretty boring. I'm sure Michael Stipe will be fine with me playing other music as well.
Anyway, I must go now. I have to take Stipe back to the dealership so they can get him all spiffed up.
Yes, it's true! I do in fact have a new car, and it is grey. (Or gray, if you're not trying to be British. But I think my car is trying to be British.) It's a 2004 Toyota Corolla. I would post a picture, but I don't really know how to do that. So you'll all have to use your imaginations, or come visit me so you can see it in person. Unlike my last car, which had a cassette player that has refused to play any sort of cassette tape for more than a year, the new car has both a CD player AND a cassette player. I am way excited about this, as it means I can play both my CDs and all those crappy mix tapes I made when I was 13. Also, unlike my old car, it does not seem to have a penchant for breaking down at stoplights. I love that!
I decided right away that my new car needs a name. This is the first new car I've ever had that I didn't have to share with every other member of my family (although my parents have already asked when they get to drive it). My last car didn't have a name. I guess my family had given up the practice of naming our cars by then. (Some of the cars we had in the past included a red station wagon called Bumpity Goat, due to the fact that when test-driving it, my mother hit a bump in the road that sent my sister flying up to the ceiling; and a blue minivan that my sister and I unimaginatively named Minnie and that my grandmother insisted on calling Minnie Pearl.)
Anyway. The color of the car reminded me of the Ani DiFranco song "Grey" (from whence I took my title above). I briefly considered naming the car Ani. Very briefly. As soon as the thought popped into my head, I knew it was wrong. This car is not an Ani.
Then I considered the actual name of the color of my car, which is "Moonshadow." "Moonshadow" reminded me of two things: 1) The towel Chase sent me earlier this year, which was in a color called "Nightshadow Rhapsody," and 2) The R.E.M. song "Nightswimming." So it appeared I could either name my car after Chase, or I could name it after Michael Stipe. Seeing as it's really kind of weird to name your car after people you actually know (no offense, of course, to Chase), I decided to name my car Michael Stipe. Or Stipe, for short. Or the Stipe-mobile, if I'm feeling wacky.
I think it fits. My car is definitely a man. Not just a man, but a gay man. Not just a gay man, but a gay man I once wanted to marry. See? How perfect is this car for me?
For the first CD ever played in my new CD player, I put in Automatic for the People and played (what else?) "Nightswimming" for the car. It seemed to like it. I think I picked a good name. Of course, just because my car is named Michael Stipe, that doesn't mean it's going to be all R.E.M., all the time. Considering that I only own that one CD, that could get pretty boring. I'm sure Michael Stipe will be fine with me playing other music as well.
Anyway, I must go now. I have to take Stipe back to the dealership so they can get him all spiffed up.
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Mrow!
Last night for the first time in two weeks, I finally got to stay home and watch The Bachelor instead of having to be out (ugh!) socializing. Really, who wants to interact with real live people when there is good reality TV on?! Certainly not I.
It seems that I got back just in time. Things are, as Chris Harrison would say, "really starting to heat up." (OK, technically I guess they started to "heat up" last week when Bob began his quest to make out with every single woman still on the show.) Here are my thoughts on the show so far:
I am undecided about Lee Ann. On the one hand, I admire her for actually being willing to express some sort of negative emotion toward Bob (unlike "My Nanny Just Kicked the Bucket but It's All Good Because Bob's Here!" Meredith). But does she have to do it, well, with so much bitchface? Honestly, Lee Ann's bitchface puts The Real World's Leah (for whom the term "bitchface" was originally coined) to absolute shame. I like the fact that Lee Ann is sarcastic, but I really wish she would use her sarcasm for good instead of evil. It's kind of like she's a combination of last season's Tina Fabulous (sarcastic and genuine) and Kirsten (a complete and total bitch to the other girls in the house because "she's there to find a husband, not friends," which is just no excuse for not being nice to people). I just don't know what to make of that. I hope Bob keeps her around, though. She's at least interesting to watch.
I didn't realize exactly how krazy the eyes of "Krazy-Eyes Brooke" were until I saw her video message last night. Seriously, she looked like she belonged in The Exorcist. And why did she sound like a first grader trying to read her first book? Actually, hearing her sound out her video message reminded me of this tape that my sister and I made when we were litte. (We didn't have a video camera growing up, so we had to amuse ourselves by making cassette tapes on our little Fisher Price tape recorder.) Anyway, we had gotten these stuffed bunnies that played music from my grandmother for Easter. So I decided to "direct" a recording of my sister and the musical bunny. Naturally, I had to write her lines for her. So the tape comes on, and you hear her say, in this very stilted voice, "Hel-lo. This is Mar-ga-ret Mar-tin and the mus-i-cal bun-ny. Mus-i-cal bun-ny, let's hear some mus-ic." Then the bunny starts playing its song, but you can hear me in the background going, "OK, now when the music stops, you're going to say, 'That's all from Margaret Martin and the musical bunny. Bye-bye!' Got it?" Then the bunny stops playing its music, and she goes, "That is all from Mar-ga-ret Mar-tin and the mus-i-cal bun-ny. Bye. Bye." Man, I wish I knew where that tape was!
Oh, right. Back to The Bachelor. I'm hesitant to predict any outcomes at this point (because I've been known to be--gasp!--wrong in the past when trying to do this), but this time I feel pretty confident in my choices. Here's what I see happening, provided that Lee Ann doesn't annihilate everyone in the house with her telekinetic bitchface powers:
Final Four: Kelly Jo, Meredith, Estella, Lee Ann. Final Three: Kelly Jo, Meredith, Lee Ann. Final Two: Kelly Jo and Meredith. Winner: Kelly Jo. Anybody wanna take that bet?
Last night for the first time in two weeks, I finally got to stay home and watch The Bachelor instead of having to be out (ugh!) socializing. Really, who wants to interact with real live people when there is good reality TV on?! Certainly not I.
It seems that I got back just in time. Things are, as Chris Harrison would say, "really starting to heat up." (OK, technically I guess they started to "heat up" last week when Bob began his quest to make out with every single woman still on the show.) Here are my thoughts on the show so far:
I am undecided about Lee Ann. On the one hand, I admire her for actually being willing to express some sort of negative emotion toward Bob (unlike "My Nanny Just Kicked the Bucket but It's All Good Because Bob's Here!" Meredith). But does she have to do it, well, with so much bitchface? Honestly, Lee Ann's bitchface puts The Real World's Leah (for whom the term "bitchface" was originally coined) to absolute shame. I like the fact that Lee Ann is sarcastic, but I really wish she would use her sarcasm for good instead of evil. It's kind of like she's a combination of last season's Tina Fabulous (sarcastic and genuine) and Kirsten (a complete and total bitch to the other girls in the house because "she's there to find a husband, not friends," which is just no excuse for not being nice to people). I just don't know what to make of that. I hope Bob keeps her around, though. She's at least interesting to watch.
I didn't realize exactly how krazy the eyes of "Krazy-Eyes Brooke" were until I saw her video message last night. Seriously, she looked like she belonged in The Exorcist. And why did she sound like a first grader trying to read her first book? Actually, hearing her sound out her video message reminded me of this tape that my sister and I made when we were litte. (We didn't have a video camera growing up, so we had to amuse ourselves by making cassette tapes on our little Fisher Price tape recorder.) Anyway, we had gotten these stuffed bunnies that played music from my grandmother for Easter. So I decided to "direct" a recording of my sister and the musical bunny. Naturally, I had to write her lines for her. So the tape comes on, and you hear her say, in this very stilted voice, "Hel-lo. This is Mar-ga-ret Mar-tin and the mus-i-cal bun-ny. Mus-i-cal bun-ny, let's hear some mus-ic." Then the bunny starts playing its song, but you can hear me in the background going, "OK, now when the music stops, you're going to say, 'That's all from Margaret Martin and the musical bunny. Bye-bye!' Got it?" Then the bunny stops playing its music, and she goes, "That is all from Mar-ga-ret Mar-tin and the mus-i-cal bun-ny. Bye. Bye." Man, I wish I knew where that tape was!
Oh, right. Back to The Bachelor. I'm hesitant to predict any outcomes at this point (because I've been known to be--gasp!--wrong in the past when trying to do this), but this time I feel pretty confident in my choices. Here's what I see happening, provided that Lee Ann doesn't annihilate everyone in the house with her telekinetic bitchface powers:
Final Four: Kelly Jo, Meredith, Estella, Lee Ann. Final Three: Kelly Jo, Meredith, Lee Ann. Final Two: Kelly Jo and Meredith. Winner: Kelly Jo. Anybody wanna take that bet?
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Oh, Lord. I have just discovered that our intern apparently thinks "original" is spelled "origional." Then again, I probably can't say anything, as I used to think, inexplicably, that "sentence" was spelled "scentence." I must have read too many scratch-n-sniff books when I was little, I suppose.
Sweet (if by "sweet," you mean "anxiety-riddled") dreams
Last night, I dreamt that I was a Charlie's Angel, along with Lucy Liu and some guy I'd never seen before. I got to drive a yellow Lamborghini. (Seriously, has anyone driven one of those since, like, 1989?) For one of our jobs, we had to go undercover at this restaurant. Just as we were getting ready to go in, who should show up but my entire extended family. I tried to hide from them, but to no avail. They started screaming my name and saying how great it was to run into me. Lucy Liu and the other guy gave me a dirty look and flounced off to do the mission without me. I had to pretend that I was just there for a normal dinner and had to make up some lie to tell my family as to why I was with Lucy Liu and the other guy in the first place. I think they kicked me out of the Angels after that.
After my first alarm went off this morning, I went back to sleep until it was time for the second alarm. During those 15 minutes, I dreamt that some friends and co-workers and I had somehow entered a figure-skating competition. They were announcing the order in which we would be performing our short program, and I was freaking out because I didn't have a short program prepared. Fortunately, I was toward the bottom of the list, and my alarm went off before it was my turn to perform. Whew. That was a close one.
Last night, I dreamt that I was a Charlie's Angel, along with Lucy Liu and some guy I'd never seen before. I got to drive a yellow Lamborghini. (Seriously, has anyone driven one of those since, like, 1989?) For one of our jobs, we had to go undercover at this restaurant. Just as we were getting ready to go in, who should show up but my entire extended family. I tried to hide from them, but to no avail. They started screaming my name and saying how great it was to run into me. Lucy Liu and the other guy gave me a dirty look and flounced off to do the mission without me. I had to pretend that I was just there for a normal dinner and had to make up some lie to tell my family as to why I was with Lucy Liu and the other guy in the first place. I think they kicked me out of the Angels after that.
After my first alarm went off this morning, I went back to sleep until it was time for the second alarm. During those 15 minutes, I dreamt that some friends and co-workers and I had somehow entered a figure-skating competition. They were announcing the order in which we would be performing our short program, and I was freaking out because I didn't have a short program prepared. Fortunately, I was toward the bottom of the list, and my alarm went off before it was my turn to perform. Whew. That was a close one.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Perhaps when I'm done with the AFI list, I'll start in on this one. Thank God I've only seen 6 of these movies to date. I'm embarrassed to say I've even seen that many. Too bad Crossroads was released too late to be included on the list. It definitely deserves a spot.
I am somewhat disturbed by the fact that I suddenly seem unable to drink a Coke without spilling most of it on myself. Today marks the second day in a row I have done that with my daily Coke at lunch. Perhaps this is a sign that I should lay off the Coke and stick to water. Or maybe a sign that I should try to be less of a klutz. I know neither of those things will ever happen, so I'll just take it as a sign that I need to wear more black, so the spills don't show up.
Monday, October 13, 2003
Double Bogey
This weekend, I staged an improptu Humphrey Bogart movie marathon when I checked out Casablanca and the original Sabrina from the library. (Must be something about the fall that makes me want to stage impromptu movie marathons.) At any rate, it was the first time I'd seen Casablanca. Ever. How is it possible for a person in this day and age to have lived for nearly 24 years and never have seen Casablanca, you ask? I just don't know.
But that question is irrelevant now because I have seen it. And I loved it. LOVED it. I've watched quite a few "legendary" movies (i.e. movies on this list) over the past few years, and with some, I really don't get what all the fuss is about. (Citizen Kane, for example, or From Here to Eternity, which I also watched this weekend for the first time.) But with Casablanca, I understood. I even knew how it ended (having watched When Harry Met Sally many a time), and I was still mesmerized. If that's not a testament to how awesome the movie is, I don't know what is.
As for Sabrina, that was one of the few movies I've seen where I liked both the original and the re-make equally. The script was pretty much the same--there were a few obvious changes in the re-make due to technological advances, of course, but other than that, it was pretty similar. (Of course, I did notice the absence of the jumping-out-of-the-taxi-to-walk cliche, further supporting Kate's and my claim that such cliches are mostly confined to current films.) Obviously, there's no comparing Audrey Hepburn to Julia Ormond. (Or to any actress, for that matter. There will never be another Audrey Hepburn. But I do agree with those who think Audrey Tautou comes pretty darn close.) I felt Greg Kinnear was much funnier in the role of David than William Holden. And I have to say, I preferred Harrison Ford to Humphrey Bogart. Obviously I like Bogey (or I wouldn't have given Casablanca such rave reviews), but he just didn't do it for me in this movie. I do wish they hadn't put Harrison Ford in those glasses, though. Tsk. Ah well, at least he didn't have the earring at that point. The earring has ruined many a Harrison Ford movie for me of late.
Anyway, my new goal is to watch most, if not all, of the 100 movies on the AFI's list. So far I've seen 35. (Most courtesy of Nancy West, Scott Fosdick, Kate or Adrian.) Only 65 more to go! This could take a while.
This weekend, I staged an improptu Humphrey Bogart movie marathon when I checked out Casablanca and the original Sabrina from the library. (Must be something about the fall that makes me want to stage impromptu movie marathons.) At any rate, it was the first time I'd seen Casablanca. Ever. How is it possible for a person in this day and age to have lived for nearly 24 years and never have seen Casablanca, you ask? I just don't know.
But that question is irrelevant now because I have seen it. And I loved it. LOVED it. I've watched quite a few "legendary" movies (i.e. movies on this list) over the past few years, and with some, I really don't get what all the fuss is about. (Citizen Kane, for example, or From Here to Eternity, which I also watched this weekend for the first time.) But with Casablanca, I understood. I even knew how it ended (having watched When Harry Met Sally many a time), and I was still mesmerized. If that's not a testament to how awesome the movie is, I don't know what is.
As for Sabrina, that was one of the few movies I've seen where I liked both the original and the re-make equally. The script was pretty much the same--there were a few obvious changes in the re-make due to technological advances, of course, but other than that, it was pretty similar. (Of course, I did notice the absence of the jumping-out-of-the-taxi-to-walk cliche, further supporting Kate's and my claim that such cliches are mostly confined to current films.) Obviously, there's no comparing Audrey Hepburn to Julia Ormond. (Or to any actress, for that matter. There will never be another Audrey Hepburn. But I do agree with those who think Audrey Tautou comes pretty darn close.) I felt Greg Kinnear was much funnier in the role of David than William Holden. And I have to say, I preferred Harrison Ford to Humphrey Bogart. Obviously I like Bogey (or I wouldn't have given Casablanca such rave reviews), but he just didn't do it for me in this movie. I do wish they hadn't put Harrison Ford in those glasses, though. Tsk. Ah well, at least he didn't have the earring at that point. The earring has ruined many a Harrison Ford movie for me of late.
Anyway, my new goal is to watch most, if not all, of the 100 movies on the AFI's list. So far I've seen 35. (Most courtesy of Nancy West, Scott Fosdick, Kate or Adrian.) Only 65 more to go! This could take a while.
Friday, October 10, 2003
Well, this weekend I'm making my annual pilgrimage home for our town's biggest event: The Ham Festival, home of what was formerly the World's Largest Country Ham and Biscuit, but is now, thanks to some stupid town in Virginia, just an unusually large ham and biscuit. I know you're all upset that you aren't getting to go, but don't worry--you can follow all of the action right here.
Thursday, October 09, 2003
Things that make me happy
-Coming home and seeing that there is mail in my mailbox...even if it's junk mail.
-Thinking I have eaten all of the Gushers in a packet and then finding one or two hiding in the corner.
-Being able to buy sushi at Target.
Things that make me unhappy
-Being forced to choose between watching whatever's on network television and sitting around, bored out of my mind.
-Planning an event and then having only my good friends show up, with the sense that they only showed up because they are my friends.
-My car pretty much falling apart.
-People at work who seem unable to do their work without talking to themselves.
-Having to get up when it's still dark outside.
-The intern at work inexplicably being given more responsibility than me.
-Cooking.
-Cleaning.
-Lyndsay deciding to quit blogging for a while.
-The weather being rainy and nasty and preventing me from taking my usual evening walk.
-Not having mail in my mailbox.
-Realizing I have in fact eaten all the Gushers in the packet.
Unfortunately, this week has included too many items in the latter category and not nearly enough in the former. Is it over yet?
-Coming home and seeing that there is mail in my mailbox...even if it's junk mail.
-Thinking I have eaten all of the Gushers in a packet and then finding one or two hiding in the corner.
-Being able to buy sushi at Target.
Things that make me unhappy
-Being forced to choose between watching whatever's on network television and sitting around, bored out of my mind.
-Planning an event and then having only my good friends show up, with the sense that they only showed up because they are my friends.
-My car pretty much falling apart.
-People at work who seem unable to do their work without talking to themselves.
-Having to get up when it's still dark outside.
-The intern at work inexplicably being given more responsibility than me.
-Cooking.
-Cleaning.
-Lyndsay deciding to quit blogging for a while.
-The weather being rainy and nasty and preventing me from taking my usual evening walk.
-Not having mail in my mailbox.
-Realizing I have in fact eaten all the Gushers in the packet.
Unfortunately, this week has included too many items in the latter category and not nearly enough in the former. Is it over yet?
Monday, October 06, 2003
"Take this child, Lord, from Tucson, Arizona"
Things I learned on last week's business trip to Arizona (which is, by the way, where the heck I've been, for those of you who were wondering):
-Airports need copy-editors. In the parking ramp at the Birmingham airport, I saw a sign that said "Yeild." Then when I got to Tucson, I saw bathrooms in the airport labeled as "Womens" and "Mens." Sheesh. Where's the Rogue Copy Editor when you need her?
-There are bugs in Arizona. In fact, there are more bugs in Arizona than there are in Alabama. And generally, they are bigger. However, they are also, on the whole, much prettier. I don't know if that makes them better or worse.
-I didn't really realize how much I took grass for granted until it wasn't there anymore.
-Food always tastes better when a) you're really hungry and b) it's free. So eating free food when you're really hungry might possibly be the best meal ever.
-Actually, eating free Mexican food when you're really hungry at a restaurant with a live mariachi band is unequivocally the best meal ever.
-Front shovels are really fun to operate. I want one to play with in my backyard. OK, so I don't technically have a backyard, so I would need to get one of those first. And I'd probably need a quarry or a mine or something, because that's what the front shovels are really made for. But once I get my own backyard quarry, I am totally getting a front shovel!
-Being at a mining event only served to reinforce my residual anger over being duped at that fake coal mine in Wales. Yes, three and a half years later, I am still mad about that! Why couldn't they just tell us it was a model of a mine? Why did they have to make us think we were actually going 40 feet underground into a real mine? Damn you, fake coal mine!
-I am not used to staying at nice hotels. On Friday while I was waiting for my ride to the airport, I went into the hotel's restaurant and asked if they had a continental breakfast. They pointed me to a table with some pastries and fruit and gave me a take-out box to put some stuff in. So I took a couple of croissants and some strawberries and raspberries, and went out into the lobby to eat while waiting for my ride. A few minutes later, a waitress came running out of the restaurant with a bill. Apparently "continental" does not mean "free." Who knew? Anyway, they proceded to charge me $10 for my two croissants and paltry helping of fruit. Ten dollars! You can bet I'm putting that on my expense report.
I returned from Arizona on Friday afternoon, only to find that a) the check engine light was on in my car (again), b) there was a letter in my mailbox from the bank stating that my account had been overdrawn (due to the hotel putting a $225 deposit on my card despite the fact that I was not paying for the room and despite the fact that, when I asked the girl at the desk if she was charging my card when she swiped it, she said no), and c) my free cable had been disconnected (for real this time), along with a stern note from the cable company, saying that I might be considered an unauthorized recipient of cable television, subject to fines and imprisonment. Gaaah! I want to go back to Arizona.
Things I learned on last week's business trip to Arizona (which is, by the way, where the heck I've been, for those of you who were wondering):
-Airports need copy-editors. In the parking ramp at the Birmingham airport, I saw a sign that said "Yeild." Then when I got to Tucson, I saw bathrooms in the airport labeled as "Womens" and "Mens." Sheesh. Where's the Rogue Copy Editor when you need her?
-There are bugs in Arizona. In fact, there are more bugs in Arizona than there are in Alabama. And generally, they are bigger. However, they are also, on the whole, much prettier. I don't know if that makes them better or worse.
-I didn't really realize how much I took grass for granted until it wasn't there anymore.
-Food always tastes better when a) you're really hungry and b) it's free. So eating free food when you're really hungry might possibly be the best meal ever.
-Actually, eating free Mexican food when you're really hungry at a restaurant with a live mariachi band is unequivocally the best meal ever.
-Front shovels are really fun to operate. I want one to play with in my backyard. OK, so I don't technically have a backyard, so I would need to get one of those first. And I'd probably need a quarry or a mine or something, because that's what the front shovels are really made for. But once I get my own backyard quarry, I am totally getting a front shovel!
-Being at a mining event only served to reinforce my residual anger over being duped at that fake coal mine in Wales. Yes, three and a half years later, I am still mad about that! Why couldn't they just tell us it was a model of a mine? Why did they have to make us think we were actually going 40 feet underground into a real mine? Damn you, fake coal mine!
-I am not used to staying at nice hotels. On Friday while I was waiting for my ride to the airport, I went into the hotel's restaurant and asked if they had a continental breakfast. They pointed me to a table with some pastries and fruit and gave me a take-out box to put some stuff in. So I took a couple of croissants and some strawberries and raspberries, and went out into the lobby to eat while waiting for my ride. A few minutes later, a waitress came running out of the restaurant with a bill. Apparently "continental" does not mean "free." Who knew? Anyway, they proceded to charge me $10 for my two croissants and paltry helping of fruit. Ten dollars! You can bet I'm putting that on my expense report.
I returned from Arizona on Friday afternoon, only to find that a) the check engine light was on in my car (again), b) there was a letter in my mailbox from the bank stating that my account had been overdrawn (due to the hotel putting a $225 deposit on my card despite the fact that I was not paying for the room and despite the fact that, when I asked the girl at the desk if she was charging my card when she swiped it, she said no), and c) my free cable had been disconnected (for real this time), along with a stern note from the cable company, saying that I might be considered an unauthorized recipient of cable television, subject to fines and imprisonment. Gaaah! I want to go back to Arizona.
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